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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24692902">Until We Reach the End of the Road</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayamylove/pseuds/mayamylove'>mayamylove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Relationships, Best Friends, Canon Universe, Coming of Age, F/M, Femininity, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Masculinity, Other minor characters - Freeform, Romance, Slow Burn, Toxic Masculinity, Unhealthy Relationships, and healthy relationships!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:40:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>37,092</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24692902</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayamylove/pseuds/mayamylove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When you've been through everything together, it can only really end one way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Toph Beifong/Sokka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>145</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Loss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Gaang attends Suki's funeral. Sokka's life is thrown to the winds.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>ACT I</strong>
</p><p>The funeral horns played loudly, like hammers slamming on his head as Sokka wept silently in the front row. He had promised himself he wouldn't cry, even though he'd been crying nearly nonstop all week. </p><p>She had been killed in combat, defending the Fire Nation palace from an attack. Doing her job. They said it was how she would have wanted to go, but the bitter, angry thoughts in Sokka's head screamed, <em> Who wants to go at the age of twenty-one? </em> Suki had had a long, probably full life ahead of her, full of adventure, pride, laughter, and love. His love. No matter how honorable they said her death was, Sokka knew that there was no honor in this. There was no honor in taking someone away from the rest of their life. </p><p>Their bed felt too empty now. The night he'd got the news, he'd spent twenty-four hours wide awake in the palace, helping Zuko and the Royal Guard in the aftermath while their friends made the trip to the Fire Nation. Then he'd gone home, to the now hollow cavern that used to be a haven filled to the brim with joy. Every molecule of air in the house felt fractured, shattered into thousands of pieces, so much that Sokka could barely breathe inside the four walls.</p><p>But, like always, he'd powered through. He'd made up the couch (he couldn't bring himself to sleep in their bed), he'd ordered dinner and made tea (but wasn't able to make a dent in either), and put himself to sleep (with no luck). He'd told himself firmly that it was the effort that counted, and with all the energy he could muster, spent the next several hours counting his breaths. Until Toph arrived. </p><p>The many years since the end of the war had strengthened his friendship with Toph until it resembled an old mountain, ever-changing but impossible to move. It hadn't surprised him that she'd arrived before Aang and Katara - she lived closer to the Fire Nation and would have heard the news sooner - and he'd been relieved to see her first. </p><p>"Oh, Sokka," she had whispered, in a surprising show of tenderness, and she'd wiped his tears, helped him eat, and slept on the floor next to him every night until today. </p><p>Zuko was speaking now, and Sokka hung on to every word. He wouldn't be one of those people who could barely remember their loved one's funeral years later. He wouldn't be that person who zone out to cope with the pain. Sokka forced himself to be present, to commit to memory every moment of this celebration of Suki's life. </p><p>"Suki was a warrior in her actions, but also in her heart," he was saying, "and she had too much left to do." </p><p><em> Yes, </em>thought Sokka fiercely. He barely noticed Toph take his hand and squeeze. </p><p>"But her years lost should not beat us down. Rather, her years lived should inspire us to rise up, and spend our remaining years fighting in her honor. She had a lot left to do, and she needs us to finish her work for her." </p><p>Sokka's heart tightened at this. He swallowed hard and wiped the tears off his cheeks. Zuko was right, and he vowed to himself and to Suki's memory that he would continue her work forever. </p><p>---</p><p>The Gang, now without Suki, Toph realized with an electric-like jolt, huddled together in one of the Fire Palace's many halls. Sokka sat squished between her and Aang on one couch, and Zuko and Katara each sat in an armchair. </p><p>"I still remember meeting her on Kyoshi Island," said Katara. "We were all so young back then."</p><p>"I'll never forget she made Sokka wear a dress," Aang laughed. </p><p>Toph listened for Sokka's reaction, and she felt him breathe easier, even let out the tiniest laugh. </p><p>"I'm sorry I can't make the trip," said Zuko. </p><p>This was the first time since the war that Toph had seen Zuko so shaken up. She remembered that frazzled tone in his voice, and it brought back memories she did not like. </p><p>"It's okay, Zuko. You did a lot for her here. So many people at the funeral. She would have been so happy to see how many lives she helped." Aang smiled, always the reassuring one. Toph almost rolled her eyes. </p><p>"Yeah, I can't imagine why she would've wanted you there," Sokka said quietly. "Not like she died protecting you or anything."</p><p>"Sokka," Katara admonished, but it was too late. The blow of hurt had been delivered, and Toph could feel it in the tension in the air. </p><p>"Wow, Snoozles," Toph chirped, "Grief makes you funnier. Your girlfriends should die more often."</p><p>She didn't need sight to feel everyone gape at her. </p><p>And then, Sokka started laughing. The sound slowly siphoned the tension out of the air, and everyone joined in. </p><p>---</p><p>They said their good nights and made their ways to their own rooms in the palace. Zuko had put Toph in the bedroom next to Sokka. After getting dressed for bed, she knocked on his door. </p><p>It swung open. Even without seeing his bedraggled look, she could feel how unsteady he was. </p><p>"Yeah?" </p><p>"Need company?" </p><p>"What?" </p><p>Toph frowned. "You heard me, numbnuts. Do you want me to stay in your room?" </p><p>Sokka shook his head. "I'm fine, Toph."</p><p>She made a <em> tsk </em>sound, irritated. "Sokka, you don't have to--"</p><p>"I said I'm <em> fine, </em>Toph."</p><p>She took that in. Hey, if he didn't want her support, there was nothing she could do about it. She'd tried her damn best, and that was all a girl could do in this world. </p><p>She shrugged. "If you say so," she said, and went back to her room. </p><p>But in bed, Toph lay awake, hurting for her best friend, who, just like she knew she would have, was damning himself to go through his pain alone. </p><p>---</p><p><br/>Two weeks later, Sokka still carried around with him the empty hole where Suki had once been. They had immersed her ashes in the bay by Kyoshi Island, where she had takenher first rites as a Kyoshi warrior, and where he had first admitted his love for her. He'd cried for what he'd told himself was the last time, but most definitely hadn't been. </p><p>Now, he was back in the Fire Nation, putting back together the remains of his life, and trying to figure out this new path forward. It was painful and terrifying, but Sokka was a warrior too, and with every moment he hoped he was honoring Suki by staying strong and keeping his head high. </p><p>He was shopping for fruit in the market, going through the motions as he had been all week. Aang, Katara, and Toph had all gone back to their lives, with kind and sincere words that he should reach out if he needed them. As he examined the ice-apples in the stall, Sokka remembered the way Toph had smacked his arm and said, "<em> Don't </em> forget to write, Snoozles," with vicious strength in her voice. He held an ice-apple up to the sun to see if there were any spots, stepped back to get a better look, and collided full-force with another shopper. </p><p>The woman yelped and toppled to the ground. Sokka somehow caught his balance, though it took quite a bit of hopping around to do it, and found himself staring at a young Fire Nation woman sprawled at his feet. </p><p>"Oh--gah--I'm so sorry!" He scrambled to help her up. "Are you okay?!"</p><p>"I'm fine, it's okay," she laughed, brushing off her shoulders and straightening her tunic. Her voice was gentle and silky. She had sharp features - prominent cheekbones and a strong jaw - flushed cheeks, and short, midnight-black hair. She caught Sokka staring and cocked an eyebrow. </p><p>"Are <em> you </em> okay?" she said with a hint of teasing. </p><p>"Me? I--uh--hm." Sokka swallowed the frog in his throat and shook himself out of his accidental stupor. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Um, sorry I, you know, knocked you over. Wasn't paying attention." </p><p>He tugged at his collar, suddenly hot and uncomfortable under the stare she had fixed on him. </p><p>Then, she smiled. "I'm Rayna." She held out her hand. He looked down at it. </p><p>"Sokka," he said, and shook her hand.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! Hope it's not way too sad.<br/>I've seen a lot of takes on Sokka's future where he and Suki go through a breakup, so I wanted to see this version of things.<br/>I ADORE Sokka and wanted to write this to explore the effect of toxic masculinity in him, especially as an adult and a hero of the war. To take it further, I want to explore how toxic masculinity affects Toph (it's interesting how it affects women too), and how it negatively impacts relationships, whether platonic, familial, or romantic.<br/>The relationships will get unhealthy and even abusive, so be warned. Nothing will get too graphic, and I'll always include a trigger warning.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Stitches</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Six months later, Sokka tries to move forward with his life. Toph visits the Fire Nation for a mission.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Every day at the crack of dawn, Sokka could be found training in the vast yard of his home. He fell rather nicely in the middle of the needs-structure-to-survive to go-with-the-flow spectrum, in that he had built a wobbly routine for his days, which he broke frequently. However, one activity that he adhered to religiously, that would always take place on the dot, that he would never even think of dismissing, was training. Each and every morning, Sokka spent two-and-a-half hours alone with his sword, practicing the art and training his body to be strong, flexible, and astute. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He used to train with Suki. They'd had an ongoing friendly competition for who would wake up first (loser had to cook lunch), and then they would spar until the sun was high in the sky (loser had to cook dinner). It had been the best part of his every day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now, he mostly trained alone. Every couple days, he sent a message to Zuko requesting that he send a sword master his way to spar, just to keep his reflexes sharp. It was undoubtedly necessary, sometimes even fun, and he had grown friendly with the masters in the Fire Nation, but with every swish of the blade, he felt the empty void where Suki used to be. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>During the past six months, Sokka had tried to fill that void every which way he could, from working long hours to drinking with friends into the night to, of course, casual sex. His thoughts drifted to the woman currently asleep in his bed upstairs, though, he noted, glancing at the sun high in the sky, she was probably awake by now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sheathed his sword (no sword could ever replace space sword, but this one--a post-war gift from Toph--had carved a new, equally special place in his heart), and headed inside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he entered his grand foyer, Sokka was surprised to find that he was greeted by the smell of breakfast cooking. He frowned slightly. When he’d started sleeping with Rayna, he’d firmly lodged a stopper in the bore of the guilt-due-to-sleeping-with-someone-else-so-soon-after-Suki’s-death bottle, which, he figured, was probably the reason he was finding himself in this situation today--where a woman who wasn’t Suki had spent the night in his bed and was now in his kitchen, cooking breakfast. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka sighed. As mind-blowing as the sex was, it was clearly time to put an end to this and send this nice woman on her way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In Sokka’s luxurious home, the walk to the kitchen was long. Sunlight streamed into the halls from the many windows - he’d insisted that the architect redo the walls to accommodate his wish for many windows, not for the sunlight, but for the moonlight - and Sokka basked in the warmth as he made his way. Katara and many other Water Tribe folk preferred cooler weather, but if Sokka wasn’t so proud of his Water Tribe heritage, he would gladly never visit either of the poles again. The hot and humid Fire Nation suited him well - and, he noticed regretfully as he entered the kitchen, it suited Rayna well too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She wore only a silk robe and was still sweating, which Sokka absolutely loved. When it came to women, Sokka could never resist them just a little dirty. Whenever Suki would come home from training, dirty and sweaty, he would always make every effort to get his hands all over her before she could shower. He shoved the memory away and focused on the woman in front of him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rayna turned around from the stove with a glimmering smile, robe hanging open not so much as to reveal the amazing body she had underneath, but just enough to make Sokka’s pants feel ever-so-slightly too tight. Her bangs were pinned out of her face hastily, and she wore no makeup - an obvious display of the fact that this had gotten way too domestic. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Sokka thought as he looked her up and down, </span>
  <em>
    <span>what harm could another few nights really do?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He knew he shouldn’t...but he put his concerns in a box and approached the counter. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Morning, sweetie. How was training--” she cut herself off with a giggly squeak as Sokka grabbed her by the waist and pulled her in for a kiss. His hands traveled over her body, and she moaned into the kiss. Sokka pulled away with a grin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatcha making?” he said, pulling up a bar chair to sit at the counter and grabbing a cup of tea. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your favorite,” she said, putting plates down for both of them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ooooh.” He waggled his eyebrows. “What’s a man do to deserve a sight like this,” he gestured to her, “and his favorite meal all in the same day? I must be a saint.” He put his teacup down right on top of his fork, causing the fork to catapult up into the air and smack him in the face. “Ow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rayna doubled over laughing. Sokka scowled as he groveled on the floor for the fallen fork. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Typical Sokka.” Rayna tried to stifle her giggles as he emerged from under the counter, clutching the fork in one hand and rubbing the side of his head with the other. She leaned over and kissed his temple. “So cute. What’s the story for today?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka bristled a little at the word “cute,” but dropped it and dug into the delicious breakfast waiting for him. With a full mouth, he answered her, “Helping Mr. and Mrs. Yu with the new lantern system they installed. Glitchy, as usual. They keep asking if they can just get a firebender to come light them, as if the problem is that they’re not getting lit, when the problem is they’re not </span>
  <em>
    <span>staying</span>
  </em>
  <span> lit. Some of these people think firebending is magic or something!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey!” teased Rayna, drawing her fist back as if to punch him. Flames surrounded her fist. “Watch it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka laughed and put both hands up in the air. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rayna opened her fist and wiggled her fingers, still engulfed by flames. She inched her hand closer to Sokka’s chest with a coy smile. His breath caught in his throat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One of Sokka’s not-so-secrets was that he liked his bedroom activities to come with a side of danger. There had been a few - okay, maybe more than a few - times when he and Rayna had played with fire in quite the literal sense. The thrill of the flame so close to his body, the heat and anticipation of the burn that never came kept his heart racing all night long. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh baby,” he hummed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She leaned in closer. Sokka held his breath. She whispered back, “You have to get to work, sweetie.” The flames disappeared from her hand and she pulled away, leaving Sokka with his pants way too tight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rayna!” he whined. “You don’t do that to a man.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do whatever I want to a man,” she shot back with a smile. “Anyway, I need to get to work. Do you want to do dinner out today?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” he said, “um...I’m having dinner with Toph, actually.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” she said, “really?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Didn’t I tell you she was coming into town today?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess I don’t remember.” She shrugged and smiled, clearly trying to hide her disappointment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sokka said awkwardly, not knowing how to respond. “Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh no, no, that’s totally fine,” said Rayna. “Don’t worry about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka hesitated. “I can do tomorrow?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A bright smile broke over her face. “Really?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” said Sokka, still unsure, but motivated by her smile. “Sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rayna pulled him into a hug. “Tomorrow it is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Although the first place she wanted to go upon landing on Fire Nation shores was Sokka’s house, Toph made the trek to the palace before anything else. After all, this was a work trip. A month ago, the Fire Nation police had discovered two dead bodies in an oddly-shaped metal container with no opening. Upon inspection, they had deduced that the work had been done by bending the metal around the bodies to create a wonky box. And so Zuko had called in a favor from the greatest metalbender in the world. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite the grisly nature of the crime, Toph couldn’t help feel excited. She was incredibly proud of her achievements in the last few years, but there was nothing like the good old-fashioned, high-stakes thrill that came with chasing a bad guy. So when Zuko met her at the front of the palace, she had a spring in her step as she strode up to meet him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ready, Fire Flake?” she said with a grin. “We’ve never done a mission just the two of us before.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually,” said Zuko, apologetic, “I’m just here to greet you. I’m leaving tomorrow morning, and I have much to attend to.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?!” Leaving?! </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko winced. “I--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where are you going?” she demanded. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Avatar Aang has asked me to join him on a new endeavor.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A new--what?” She couldn’t even bring herself to roll her eyes at the fact that he’d said ‘Avatar Aang.’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t say much, Toph. I apologize.” To his credit, he did seem genuinely sorry, but Toph wasn’t having it. An </span>
  <em>
    <span>endeavor?</span>
  </em>
  <span> A </span>
  <em>
    <span>secret</span>
  </em>
  <span> endeavor? She hadn’t been this offended since one of the idiot metalbending students had implied her space-earth bracelet was not really meteorite - just regular earth that she was parading around as a meteorite.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Save the apologies,” she huffed. “Why aren’t I invited? Is Sokka going? Katara?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, it’s just Aang and I for the time being,” he said, still talking as though walking on ice. Which he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toph crossed her arms over her chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please don’t be offended, Toph. It’s a matter of security. I’m sure the Avatar will broach the subject with all of us together soon.” There was a silent plea in Zuko’s voice to let it go. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She finally rolled her eyes. “Quit it with the ‘Avatar’ weirdness.” She uncrossed her arms. The tension seemed to filter out of the open air. “So what am I doing here?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hina here,” Zuko, obviously relieved, gestured to the officer behind him, “is leading the murder investigation. You’re our metalbending expert. You’ll work with her.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toph could feel Hina bow her head in respect, but it didn’t quell the wave of skepticism that rose inside her. Something about this woman’s stance, her heartbeat, and her breathing felt off. Toph raised her eyebrows. “Really? You couldn’t recruit Sokka for this? He lives here.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nobody could deny the pride in her voice. In her books, Sokka was the best investigator and strategist in the world, and she would never admit it, but she missed working with him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sokka doesn’t work for the Fire Nation in this capacity, Toph,” said Zuko, though if she were to guess, she’d say Zuko shared her sentiment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever, he’s still--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When we were traveling, yes, but in the walls of the nation, we have to follow a procedure.” His voice was firm. She didn’t like it, but it was clear she wasn’t going to get her way on this one. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All right,” she conceded. "So what first?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"First," said Zuko, with the slightest smile, "we catch up."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toph was thoroughly enjoying the plentiful snacks and drinks the palace had to offer when Zuko brought it up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So…," he said, half awkward, half teasing (or trying to), "how is Satoru?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fine," she said shortly before stuffing her face with custard tart. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh," said Zuko. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A moment of silence passed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Did Katara put you up to this?" Toph demanded. This was her least favorite part of catchup with the Gang. Things with her boyfriend were </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and she didn't understand why they always insisted on details. Did they want her to recount every moment she spent with Satoru? Did they expect her to have problems with him? And if she did, did they expect her to ask them for advice, as if she didn't already know exactly what they would say? Aang and Katara, the lovebirds, would tell her something silly like love always works out. Zuko would awkwardly shuffle his feet and pull a proverb out of his ass in a weak impression of his uncle. And Sokka…well, there was a time Sokka might have given the most reasonable and logical advice, but from what she'd gathered in the last few months, he would probably tell her to get over Satoru and get under someone else. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, no!" Zuko said. "It's not like that. I'm just…asking."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another moment of silence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Get to it, Sparkles!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"All right! All right," Zuko said hastily. "What I really want to talk about is...Sokka."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sokka?" she repeated, puzzled. "What's wrong with him?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Nothing...I think."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What the hell does that mean?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's just," said Zuko, "I think he's been seeing this girl." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That hit Toph oddly and lodged itself in the depths of her stomach. She couldn't quite place the feeling. "What do you mean 'seeing?' I thought he was going bed-hopping after Suki died."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That's what I thought too. But I've seen him with this girl more than once, or even twice. I think there's something more going on," he said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There it was again - that feeling. "So what if he is?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Don't you think it's a little early to--"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toph shook her head firmly. "Everyone grieves in their own way. Sokka's free to move on whenever he wants."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko looked away, out the window at the horizon. He was quiet for a moment. She could tell there was more to the story. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What?" Toph pressed him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I can't put my finger on it," he said. "There's just something about her." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Did you talk to him?" she asked. She felt Zuko's heart jump and rolled her eyes. "You want me to talk to him." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She didn't see it, but Zuko looked sheepish. "Yes. If you can. I'm worried."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She made a big show out of sighing and groaning. "The things I do for my friends."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko smiled. "Thanks." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was something odd about this whole thing, she thought. Despite what she had said, Toph knew it was strange for Sokka to be seeing someone new only six months after Suki's passing. And for him to keep a secret like that from her? During and after the war, Sokka had become no less than her best friend. She felt a curl of shame in her gut that she hadn't reached out more frequently after Suki's death, but she shoved it away and promised herself she'd make amends now.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you all liked it! Thanks for reading. </p>
<p>It's particularly fun to write the slightly older versions of these characters. My favorite thing about Zuko is his short temper, which I didn't really get a chance to use in this one. I figured he tries not to snap at work, when he's supposed to be professional. I hope I can get him in a casual setting where he can be the angry young man he is!</p>
<p>In the meantime, I'm excited for what's to come with the two friends!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Discovery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The best friends reunite! And, though Toph finds herself well-suited to detective work, there is one thing she didn't see coming...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nights in the Fire Nation were always lovely. The sounds of people bustling in the square, plates clinking in the street food stalls, and fireworks going off here and there was the most pleasant ambience Toph had ever experienced. Coming from a background where the suffocating soundscape always consisted of quiet chatter in upper class accents, fine, expensive tea pouring, and gentle, boring music, the chaos of a Fire Nation market put her at peace. </p><p>She waited by a food stand for Sokka to show up. He was more than fifteen minutes late, and Toph couldn't help jumping to conclusions. Moments of the war flashed through her head - Sokka, shielding her body with his, the crack of bone breaking and Sokka yelling in pain - she shook the thoughts out of her head. The nagging reminder of why she was here tapped on the walls of her mind. There was a murderer on the loose. It was unlike Sokka to be so tardy. Maybe she should call Hina. Maybe she should--</p><p>And then familiar footsteps, ones she hadn't felt in months but would recognize on any ground, came running towards her. She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. </p><p>"Toph!" His voice carried over the sounds of the Fire Nation citizens. </p><p>Toph grinned and got to her feet just as Sokka collided with her, knocking her back a couple steps, smothering her in a bear hug. </p><p>"Oof," she said, muffled against his chest as she hugged him back. </p><p>They held each other tightly, and for a long time, an unspoken need between them. Sokka's heart swelled for the first time in six months. </p><p>Finally, they pulled away from each other. Sokka took in the sight of his best friend. She had dressed for the Fire Nation, with loose, light pants and a cropped shirt that showed a glimpse of her abdomen. Sokka cleared his throat and looked away, suddenly hot and uncomfortable, inexplicably feeling like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. </p><p>Toph felt his change in stance and heart beat. "You okay there, Snoozles?" </p><p>"What? Yeah, I'm great!" he said, doing a terrible job at covering. "Ahem, how are you? How's the refinery? How's everything?"</p><p>"Ugh, work life is a <em>nightmare</em>…" And that was all it took to get them chattering away like nothing had changed, like no time at all had passed, like they were just Sokka and Toph adventuring across the four nations on a mission to defeat the Fire Lord.</p><p>---</p><p>They spent the whole evening wandering around town, going from stall to stall and snacking on different foods, catching up on everything. Well after nightfall, they found themselves alone on the beach, with only the sounds of the gentle waves hitting the shore and the bugs buzzing in nearby foliage filling the air. The salty ocean smell and the black sky calmed Sokka’s default high-strung nerves, and he took his second deep breath of the night. </p><p>Sokka dug in the paper bag that held their snacks, only to find it sadly empty. He made a desolate sound and crumpled the bag between his hands. </p><p>“You finished them already?” Toph accused. </p><p>“Wha?! I didn’t finish them myself!” he cried indignantly. </p><p>“You sure tried, lard-cake.”</p><p>“Lard-cake?! This happens to be all muscle, I’ll have you know.” Sokka patted his belly. </p><p>“Yeah, whatever. Tell it to your girlfriend. Maybe she’ll believe you, since she barely knows you.” </p><p>That stopped Sokka so completely in his tracks, he felt like he’d just been hit by a two-ton buffalo yak coming at him full-force. </p><p>Girlfriend? He had no idea how Toph found out about Rayna--<em>not</em> that she was his girlfriend, by any definition of the word. The passive-aggressiveness in her accusation didn’t slip his notice, either. Sokka couldn’t explain the tightness in his chest at the mention of this subject; he cast his gaze down, trying to formulate an answer. </p><p>Impatient, Toph pressed him, “Well? Who is she? Why don’t I know about it?”</p><p>Carefully, Sokka answered, “Sounds like you do know about it.”</p><p>Toph punched him in the arm. </p><p>“Ow!” </p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p>“She’s not my girlfriend,” he said, rubbing his arm. No matter how much she claimed it was ‘affection,’ that always hurt a little more than he thought affection should. </p><p>“Zuko said--”</p><p>“<em>Zuko</em> told you I have a girlfriend?” How did Zuko know? More importantly, <em>what</em> did Zuko think he knew? Sokka had very intentionally not mentioned Rayna around any of his friends and had never introduced her to Zuko. </p><p>“He told me there’s a girl,” said Toph. “He said he thinks it’s more than just a bed buddy.” </p><p>“Well, it’s not.” Something nagged at the corner of his mind, though. He and Rayna had most definitely never discussed the option of a relationship, but if he were to tell Toph about this morning...</p><p>“Sokka,” said Toph, and he was a little startled by how gentle her voice sounded, “You can talk to us.” They both heard the ‘<em>me</em>’ that Toph was too emotionally constipated to say. </p><p>Sokka took a deep, shuddering breath. He thought long and hard, and Toph waited. They listened in silence to the waves coming and going, to the crickets chirping, and the wind rustling in the leaves. </p><p>“It’s just been hard,” he started, voice shaking, “to move on.” He stared out at the ocean. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Toph. </p><p>“So is she a rebound?” The words may have been blunt, but Toph’s voice was still soft, non-judgemental, safe. </p><p>“...I guess I don’t know,” he confessed. Certainly, it had started that way. A good lay every other night or so, a few nights of distraction, a warm body to hold him in his grief. But then…</p><p>“We started talking,” he said. “And I told her about Suki. And she wasn’t...she listened. She was there for me.”</p><p>Toph shifted her feet awkwardly for some reason. Sokka noticed, but paid it no mind, and continued, “She’s not my girlfriend. But she’s...my friend.”</p><p>Silence fell over them again as Toph thought about what he’d said. Sokka was surprised to find he felt a little clearer in his head. </p><p>“Friends with benefits doesn’t really work out, Sokka,” said Toph. </p><p>“I know--”</p><p>“But,” she said firmly, “if that’s what you need. Then that’s what you need.” </p><p>Everything in her words should have brought Sokka relief, even joy, so he could not, for the life of him, explain why it broke his heart. His hands shook, he felt his throat tighten, and tears started to well in his eyes. <em>No, no, no.</em> He was done with this. He didn’t want to do this again, ever again. </p><p>Sokka looked away and cleared his throat. He balled his hands into fists and clutched them tightly, willing the tears away. Toph turned to him slightly. </p><p>“Are you--?”</p><p>“I’m fine,” he said brusquely. </p><p>Toph didn’t push it. She stepped closer to him and punched his arm, this time gently. </p><p>“Ow,” he said anyway. Toph smirked. </p><p>Sokka shook his head, and smiled back. </p><p>---</p><p>Toph couldn’t sleep all night. She tossed and turned on the ground of her bedroom, thoughts of her conversation with Sokka plaguing her mind. The way he'd talked about this woman - <em>Rayna</em>, he'd told her - made an unpleasant twitch settle in her gut, quite like the feeling she'd gotten earlier when Zuko has mentioned Sokka's <em>situation</em>. </p><p>Try as she might, she couldn't shake the feeling that she wanted to wrap Sokka up in her arms and shield him from whoever this Rayna woman was, shield him from every woman he may ever meet. Then it hit her - she was feeling protective. </p><p>Relief washed over her. Of course she was protective of Sokka! He was her best friend, with her through thick and thin, and if anyone ever hurt him, they'd spend the rest of their lives locked in a metal cage like Xin Fu and Master Yu. This realization calmed her, and even though it didn't completely put her little twitch to rest, it helped her enough that she could roll over and finally let sleep take her. </p><p>---</p><p>The crime scene (at least, that was what she was calling it in her head; it was unconfirmed whether the victims were killed at the site or whether their bodies were dumped here) was a rocky alcove by the shore of one of the Fire Nation's southern islands. Toph, Hina, and some of the other officers were investigating the roped-off area. Toph moved slowly, dragging her feet to get a sense of what had happened here, taking inch-by-inch steps so as not to miss a single detail. The officers watched with trepidation. Evidently, Toph thought to herself with a private eye-roll, they had never seen an expert at work before. </p><p>Although she was careful not to bend the metal cage of sorts in which the victims had been found, she was able to get a sense of the material and what it had been through. "This wasn't a metalbender," Toph announced, and though she would never reveal it, she was relieved to say so. </p><p>The Fire Nation officers stirred, murmuring amongst themselves. Hina spoke up, "Master Toph, our experts determined--" </p><p>"Did your experts invent metalbending?" Toph shot back, pointing a finger aggressively in what she hoped was Hina's face, and she assumed it was when she sensed Hina take a step back. </p><p>"No, but--"</p><p>"Then leave the determining to me, sweet cheeks," she said smugly. "Whoever did this wanted you to think it was a metalbender. The metal is pretty <em>bent</em>, after all." Toph sensed the shape of the hunk of metal--iron, it so happened to be--and how it had been altered to take the shape it currently took: mangled and damaged. It had clearly been pried open with tools to extract the bodies, and if Toph had to guess, she would say (probably correctly) that some firebenders had tried their hands at opening it first. </p><p>But the most obvious sign that it had not been touched by a metal bender was the <em>feel</em> of the iron itself. Whenever Toph or any of her students bent metal, she could feel that the particles of the material had shifted and settled into new positions, like new little homes within their larger body. It was a beautiful feeling, one of her favorite things about metalbender, second to the sheer badassery of it, of course. The particles in the iron in front of her did not show any signs of this, and if she paid close attention, Toph could sense a smoothness at the edges where they had pried the box open, as if someone had deliberately smoothed it over to hide evidence that it had been closed with tools. </p><p>She conveyed this to Hina, who stepped closer to look. “Yes,” she said, scribbling down notes. “You’re right. I see that.”</p><p>“Where were you when your team did the first scan of the crime scene?" Toph quipped. </p><p>“I wasn’t here. I was overseeing work at the palace,” Hina replied. <br/>
Toph froze. She shifted her foot slightly to double-check if she had sensed what she had sensed...and there it was. A slight hiccup in Hina’s heartbeat. <em>I knew it</em>, she thought smugly. Something was off about the Fire Nation’s security captain.</p><p>---</p><p>A little-known fact about Toph was that she was a tea-lover. The sound of the water boiling, the smells of different tea leaves, the mechanical nature of the brewing process--it all worked together to put her at peace. </p><p>She was making tea when a knock at her door abruptly and forcefully snatched her out of that peace. With a scowl, she moved to answer the door, recognizing the person on the other side with her seismic sense. </p><p>“What?” she said, yanking the door open, making the Fire Nation officer on the other end cower just a little. “It’s off hours.”</p><p>“I’m dropping off the case files. You asked me to, Master Toph.” The man’s heartbeat and voice made it clear he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. </p><p>Toph frowned. Case files were of no use to a blind woman, no matter how cool she was in any other way. There would certainly be information in the files that she needed, but after her interaction with Hina earlier in the day, Toph wasn’t sure who she could trust in the Fire Nation security team. She stepped aside to let the officer in; he placed a stack of boxes carefully down by the door, then took a step back and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. </p><p>“Um,” he said, “do you need help--?”</p><p>“I’ll have someone read it to me in the morning,” she said curtly. “Like I said, it’s off hours.”</p><p>“Okay,” said the officer, sounding relieved. “Good night.”</p><p>She shut the door behind him and considered the boxes before her. <em>Well</em>, she reasoned to herself, <em>there’s really only one thing to do here</em>. </p><p>---</p><p>With a few drinks in him, Sokka was a little bit of a daredevil. He loved the risk, the adventure, the thrill of not knowing where the night was going to take him. Which was why, on his not-date with Rayna at The Flaming Tavern, he found himself betting a hundred gold coins on a dart contest. His competition was a burly, bearded non-bender with a crew of men who looked like his clones. A pretty woman in a red summer dress cheered him on from where she was glued to his side. Privately, Sokka thanked the spirits that, though he didn’t have his friends with him, at least Rayna looked sexier in her crop top and shorts than Beardo’s girl. </p><p>“Come on!” Sokka jeered as the man shot his second-to-last dart close to bulls-eye, but not quite there. “At least <em>try</em> to make it a challenge for me!” </p><p>A couple of Beardo’s friends shot Sokka dirty looks. Rayna giggled breathlessly from his side. “Sokka, maybe take it easy,” she said, though she was clearly enjoying every minute of his machismo. </p><p>Sokka winked at her. “No worries. I got this.” Beardo shot his last dart, again missing bulls-eye, and Sokka laughed out loud. “Oh, I definitely got this.” He grabbed Rayna by the waist, pulled her close, and dipped her dramatically for a kiss. When he put her back on her feet, she was breathing heavy, intoxicated by more than just alcohol. </p><p>He swaggered up to the plate and reached out his hand. “Come on,” he said to the men, “hand me the darts. I’ll show you what I got.” </p><p>The burly men looked at each other. One of them spoke up, “You gotta bring your own darts.” </p><p>Sokka blinked. “What?”</p><p>“Everyone brings their own darts,” one of the other men said. “No darts, you forfeit.”</p><p>Sokka opened and closed his mouth a few times. A few of the men behind Beardo got to their feet. Rayna grabbed Sokka’s arm; he looked back at her, seeing her nervous expression, and turned back to the men. He pulled his arm out of Rayna’s grasp and squared up. </p><p>“All right,” he said. “Then there’s only one way to settle this.” He put his fists up, ready. </p><p>---</p><p>“You are an <em>idiot</em>,” said Rayna, giggling uncontrollably. </p><p>“It’s fine,” said Sokka, sounding nasal due to the bloody handkerchief he had pressed to his probably broken nose, “it doesn’t even hurt.” It definitely hurt. </p><p>"Let me see it." She tugged on his arm, cajoling. </p><p>He shrugged her off. "Don't worry about it, baby." </p><p>Rayna laughed into the quiet night, taking his hand. Sokka found himself pleased by the sound, and surprisingly pleased by the feel of her hand in his. They never held hands--but Sokka was a little too drunk from the alcohol and high from the fight to think about Suki right now. </p><p>"You really held your own against all those guys," said Rayna, sounding impressed. As they approached Sokka's house, their surroundings became more and more private, and Rayna started to look more and more delicious. </p><p>"Eh," said Sokka, though he couldn't help grinning with pride. "You know. It's just the war hero in me." </p><p>She laughed again and stopped him in his tracks as they reached his house. "Mm, my war hero," she said, voice sultrier than ever, and pulled him in for a kiss. </p><p>It was probably gross, given his bloody nose, but they were both electrified with their desire for each other. They made out in front of the walkway to Sokka's house, under the moonlight with the gentle breeze tickling their skin, and for the first time in a long time, Sokka lost himself in the moment. </p><p>"Ahem." </p><p>They jumped apart like polarized magnets--Rayna yelped in shock and hastily wiped blood off her face. Sokka blinked and shook the drunkenness out of his vision to see-- </p><p>Toph, standing at the foot of his front steps, arms crossed over her chest, looking like...well, that was the thing. Sokka, usually quite adept at reading Toph's many facial expressions, couldn't tell what she was looking like, which made the moment all the more daunting and awkward. </p><p>"Who's your <em>friend</em>, Snoozles?" she said. If she had meant to hide her disdain at the word 'friend', and Sokka knew she hadn't, she'd done a terrible job. </p><p>"Hey Toph," he said, shuffling his feet uncomfortably. "This is Rayna."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! </p><p>This was a lot of fun to write. Also, please excuse if it's not accurate to the comics - I haven't read them so I barely know what goes on during that period. I think I've set this in a time period slightly after the comics? But again, no idea. </p><p>Let me know what you all think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Cracks in the Earth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sokka and Toph learn a little something about themselves.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Read it to me again,” said Toph. </p><p>“‘Half past high noon, following up on an alert on Hawk Shore--” </p><p>“No, no,” she cut him off, waving away the words dismissively. “Not that one.”</p><p>“Which one?” said Sokka. </p><p>“The deputy officer’s statement. From two weeks before the thing.” </p><p>Sokka made a whiney noise and started digging through a pile of papers. </p><p>They were sitting at the desk in Toph’s bedroom in the palace, poring over all the case files relating to the murder. One of the officers had come by that morning to read the files to her, but Toph took pride in not being a moron, so she’d invited Sokka over to read them to her again. She was still in the dark about what exactly was suspicious about Hina and the officers, but until she figured it out, <em> everything </em> that the officers did was up for questioning. There was only one person currently in the Fire Nation who Toph trusted, and so he was here, now emerging from the stacks, holding her requested file victoriously in the air. </p><p>“You know,” he said, smoothing it down on her desk, “I’m not just conjuring the file out of thin air at your command, Toph. It’s actually work to search through this mountain of paperwork.” </p><p>“Oh, yeah, you’re right, Sokka. You’re the one who has it hard.” She waved her hand in front of her eyes, indicating her blindness. </p><p>“Sorry,” Sokka muttered. “It’s just, there’s gotta be a better way than this.” He cleared his throat, and began reading the file out loud. </p><p>They hadn’t talked about it, other than Sokka, while scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, saying, “Sorry that uh--happened,” and Toph replying, “Just shut up and help me, dunderhead.”</p><p>If she took the time to think about it, Toph would realize that she didn’t know <em> why </em> she didn’t want to hear about it. She just didn’t. Plain and simple. There were plenty of more pressing matters at hand, <em> like a murderer on the loose, </em> Toph thought, annoyed at herself for letting her thoughts go there again. Though she’d never know what the sight would have looked like to a seeing person, she would argue to the death that it looked significantly grosser to her. The slurping sounds, the bodies bumping against each other, the heartbeats going haywire...Sokka was lucky she hadn’t vomited on his front porch. </p><p>Once again, probably for the eighty-seventh time, Toph yanked her thoughts away from the memory and into the present moment. She felt Sokka’s eyes on her. He was no longer reading. </p><p>“Um,” said Toph. </p><p>“You weren’t paying attention?!” Sokka cried out, throwing his arms in the air hopelessly. “I am <em> not </em> reading it again.” </p><p>Toph just gave him a smile. </p><p>They lived in the stalemate for a solid ten seconds before Sokka groaned noisily and said, “Fine! Spirits help me.” </p><p>Going through the files was like standing in the desert, with the same, fuzzy image surrounding her for miles, grainy noise shifting under her feet. She kept waiting for something, <em> anything </em> to come into clear view, but the details blended together, and she didn't know what to look for. </p><p>"Wait!" </p><p>Sokka stopped talking. "What?" he said. </p><p>"Say that part again."</p><p>"Were you not listening again--!"</p><p>"Just read it!" she snapped. </p><p>Sokka started reading, "...Deputy Chan Training Day Two. Keeping post at the palace - report by Head Officer Hina. Covered perimeter and--"</p><p>"Stop," said Toph. "Pull up Chan's file." </p><p>Some page-ruffling, and then, "Deputy Officer Chan - Active Duty Fire Palace Patrol. Joined on--"</p><p>Toph slammed her fist on the table. "Gotcha!" </p><p>"What? What'd you got?" Sokka said excitedly. </p><p>Smug, victorious, Toph answered him, "Hina said she was overseeing palace patrol when security was examining the crime scene. But <em> Chan </em> was in charge of palace patrol for two weeks before the murder happened. She wasn't where she was supposed to be, and she wasn't where she said she was."</p><p>Sokka gaped at her. </p><p>When he didn't respond, Toph said, "What?"</p><p>"Nothing," he replied, the awe evident in his voice. "That was really cool, Toph." </p><p>Surprised, flattered, and--something she couldn't quite identify, Toph said, "Thanks." </p><p>---</p><p>Toph paced back and forth by the window in her bedroom, listening hard for the sounds coming from outside. Zuko was supposed to arrive at any minute, and she needed his authorization to put Hina in an interrogation room. She couldn't say why she had suddenly become so invested in this murder case--she'd been called in as only a consultant after all. She supposed, at the very least, it had given her something to do. Something meaningful, of which, during the last few years since the end of the war, Toph had felt the absence. Sure, she was passing on her metalbending knowledge to eager students, she was a part of an endeavor to innovate and build in the world, but none of it felt as impactful or <em> direct </em> as punching some bad guys in the face. </p><p>And then the very distinct sound of yelling floated up through the window. </p><p>"Why can't it get done today?!" Zuko's shouted, presumably from outside the palace entrance. </p><p>"Because that's not how any of this works!" Aang shouted back. </p><p>Toph laughed to herself and headed downstairs. Nobody could rile up Zuko and Twinkletoes like they could each other. No hangout (of which there had been too few recently) was complete without a yelling match, no matter how much Aang swore that he wouldn't let it get there. </p><p>"I have a nation to run, Aang! I can't just travel back and forth and all over the world!" </p><p>"It's just one more trip!" </p><p>"You're probably the most laid-back, irresponsible Avatar that ever lived!" </p><p>"Well, <em> you're </em> probably the crankiest, most annoying Fire Lord that ever lived!" </p><p>"Hey jerkbenders," Toph cut in. She leaned casually against the back wall of the entryway, arms crossed over her chest, enjoying the show. </p><p>Aang and Zuko whirled around. Toph grinned. </p><p>"Oh, hey, Toph," said Aang, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. </p><p>"Toph, I'm glad you're here," Zuko started. "We have a few things--"</p><p>"Before you go on, Sparky, I have a royal request," she said. "I need to interrogate your head of security." </p><p>"What?" said Zuko, sounding genuinely shocked. Toph felt a surge of pride. </p><p>"Hina, your head of security, has some issues in her records and statements. Not to mention I caught her lying. I think she has some information about the murder." </p><p>Aang looked back and forth between her and Zuko. </p><p>"<em>Hina?! </em>You're wrong," said Zuko emphatically. </p><p>"Actually, I'm not. I have evidence in the case files and the security reports, and like I said, I caught her lying," said Toph. She'd expected his disbelief, and if she was honest, it made this whole thing that much more satisfying. </p><p>"What was the lie?" Zuko asked. </p><p>Before Toph could answer, the foyer doors opened and--<em> Ah, this should be fun </em>--Hina and Deputy Chan walked in. </p><p>Suddenly, there was a stir in the air. Toph stilled herself and <em> listened. </em> There was Aang's breathing and heartbeat, and there was Deputy Chan's, but...she narrowed her seismic sense in deeper…there was a flicker somewhere. In Hina's heartbeat, certainly, but also...in <em> Zuko's. </em> Baffled and increasingly suspicious, Toph frowned and rounded on Zuko. </p><p>"Like I was saying," and her tone became exponentially more aggressive, "Hina lied about where she was when the security team examined the crime scene." </p><p>Zuko's heart beat faster. "Toph, there's been a mis--" he said. </p><p>She cut him off, "She said she was overseeing palace patrol." </p><p>"Lord Zuko, please--" Hina tried. </p><p>"But Deputy Chan here has been heading that for the last three--"</p><p>"Toph!" Zuko shouted. </p><p>Toph fell silent, but she crossed her arms over her chest firmly and planted her feet. Her brain whirred faster than Aang could bend air--something was off, and her heart sank into her stomach with the clear, unmistakable, gut-wrenching shame of being <em> wrong </em>. </p><p>"Toph," said Zuko gingerly. "It's not--Hina's not--" He and Hina were avoiding each other's eyes, Toph noticed, and both heartbeats were going haywire. Deputy Chan seemed to be suddenly very interested in the Fire Palace carpeting. Aang looked bewildered as ever, but the realization dawned on Toph like a glorious yet cruel sunrise of a dreaded morning. </p><p>"Zuko," she said slowly. "Are you sleeping with Hina, your head of the Fire Nation Security Team?" </p><p>A long silence fell over the group. </p><p>"Yup, you're right, Zuko," said Aang. "You are definitely busier than I am."</p><p>---</p><p>Toph slammed her empty glass down on the bar. "Get me another one."</p><p>Amused, Sokka raised a hand to the barkeep. "One more for the lady," he said cheerfully, and Toph scowled.</p><p>"What are you so happy about?" she grumbled. </p><p>"Nothin'," he said brightly.</p><p>Toph punched him in the arm. </p><p>"Ow!"</p><p>"It's not funny!" </p><p>"I know, I know," he agreed. "But, you know, you gotta admit, it's kinda funny."</p><p>The barkeep set Toph's second drink down in front of her, and she downed it without so much as a blink in his direction. Sokka tried to hide his laugh. She slammed the glass back down on the bar. "It was humiliating," she said. </p><p>"Aw, come on, Toph," Sokka said gently, placing a reassuring hand on her back. "You invented metalbending when you were twelve. You can bounce back from this." Of this, he was sure. There was no one more resilient, more capable, more <em> badass </em> than the woman sitting next to him--though she didn't look it at this moment, with her moody slouch and increasing drunkenness. Redness was creeping into her cheeks and neck as a side effect of the alcohol, Sokka caught himself noticing. And to make matters worse, Toph chose that moment to cluck her tongue and pull her hair out of its bun so that it fell messily down her back and around her face, making Sokka's mouth go <em> dry </em>. He quickly took his hand off her back. Shocked at himself, he barely paid attention to her next words. </p><p>"After the most awkward silence in the history of the Fire Nation, Chan said that they apprehended someone." Toph sulked in her seat. </p><p>"So? Isn't that a good thing?" said Sokka, trying to move on from his little <em> moment </em>. </p><p>"Yeah, I guess you're right," she said, but Sokka sensed a thought troubling her underneath the words. </p><p>"What's up?" he said. </p><p>"I don't know. It was kinda like...they didn't actually need me, you know?" she said, turning away from him. Sokka felt a rush of sympathy. "I was just...wrong. Totally off. I could've just stayed in the Earth Kingdom."</p><p>"Toph," said Sokka seriously, enough that she turned back toward him, "<em> I'm </em> really glad you came-- <em> ow! </em>"</p><p>She'd punched him in the arm, but Sokka would swear on the moon spirit that he saw a little bit of a smile on her. </p><p>---</p><p>"Go, go, go!" he said excitedly. "This is the coolest thing we've ever done." </p><p>"Really?" Toph slurred. "How about that one time we killed the Fire Lord?" </p><p>"Well, technically, Aang didn't--"</p><p>"I like to pretend he did," said Toph wrinkling her nose, and Sokka laughed. </p><p>"Yup, this is <em> way </em> cooler than that," he said, watching in awe. </p><p>Toph furrowed her brow, widened her stance, and dug her bare feet even more firmly into the earth, as though struggling to concentrate, which, Sokka reasoned, she probably was. They'd both had a lot more to drink. </p><p>Still, she raised both arms (he guessed that sober, she could probably do this with one hand) and worked at the slab of stone in front of her. Sokka cheered her on from behind as the rock started to take shape...the body started forming in an earthbending stance, then the face, round and framed by loose hair. Sokka marveled at the detailed work. Finally, Toph twisted her hands and carved into the statue's face two unseeing eyes. Then, she dropped her arms and stood back. </p><p>"Wow," Sokka breathed. </p><p>Before them stood a life-size statue, a hyperrealistic replica of the one and only Toph Beifong.</p><p>Sokka looked back and forth from the statue to the real woman next to him, stunned, thrilled, and proud of her skill.</p><p>"You're an artist!" he exclaimed. "How are you so good?" </p><p>"Eh," she said, cracking her knuckles, "I'm just the best in the world is all."</p><p>"You are," Sokka said, gaping in wonder. </p><p>Toph blushed and turned around. "I'm done with it. Let's get out of here." She started forward, and even though she had just crafted a masterpiece in less than twenty minutes, she was too drunk to sense a rock on the ground two feet in front of her. </p><p>She tripped, and then several things happened at once. Sokka reached out to steady her, but at the same time, Toph used earthbending to try and steady herself, which resulted in both of them having the earth quite literally pulled out from under their feet. They ended up flat on the ground, with Sokka on top of Toph, and Sokka once again found himself frozen as he took in the sight of her. </p><p>Looking frazzled from the fall, Toph was breathing heavily, chest rising and falling beneath his, and Sokka noticed perhaps for the first time, under the spell of his own drunkenness, the feel of Toph's <em> body </em>. Blood rushed to his groin, his eyes fluttered shut, he leaned in close...</p><p>"Uh oh," said Toph suddenly. Sokka's brow furrowed as, eyes still closed, he tried to figure out why she sounded choked, and then--</p><p>She rolled over under him and performed a prize-winning upchuck all over the ground, so hard that it splattered onto his clothes and face. </p><p>"Ugh--blech--yuck--Toph!" he spluttered, jolting away from her like lightning. He wiped the vomit off his face, but it just made it feel worse. </p><p>"Sorry," she said, spitting on the ground. Sokka grimaced, thinking privately that she was lucky she didn't have to see any of this. She made quite a sight, lying on the ground, hair sticking to her face, covered in her own vomit, and somehow…laughing. He glared at her, trying to stay indignant, but her laughter grew louder and more aggressive, and he couldn't help joining her. </p><p>---</p><p>They spent much of the next few days together, and while Sokka knew that Rayna was disappointed, he couldn't deny how much he enjoyed Toph's company. With Toph came a sense of safety and comfort that he couldn't quite find with anyone outside the gang, especially after losing Suki. He liked Rayna a lot and couldn't deny that she had contributed to making his life bearable during the last six months, but they had been a hellish six months indeed. Sorrows and worries that usually plagued Sokka without reprieve floated away when Toph was around, so he chose to indulge himself for the few more days that she was in town. He figured he'd make it up to Rayna later. </p><p>That was until Aang and Zuko called them into the palace strategy room one afternoon and finally revealed the subject of the secret meetings they'd been having. </p><p>"...So that's the idea!" said Aang, smiling ear to ear. Next to him, Zuko wore an expression that was reminiscent of </p><p>"What do you both think?" he asked brusquely. </p><p>Sokka glanced over at Toph, who looked like she might start dancing. </p><p>"When do we start?" she replied, which made Aang's smile grow to twice its size. </p><p>"So...a city?" Sokka said slowly. "For everyone?"</p><p>"Yup!" Aang popped the 'P.' </p><p>"If it's in the Earth Kingdom, wouldn't it be an Earth Kingdom city?" </p><p>"That's the best part!" said Aang, visibly excited. "The Earth King is releasing the land so it's not ruled by the Earth Kingdom anymore! We diplomacy-ed the whole thing. The Avatar and the Fire Lord. We're unstoppable!" He raised his hand for a high-five and looked expectantly at Zuko, who rolled his eyes and quickly indulged him.</p><p>"So we're all moving there? All of us?" said Sokka.</p><p>"Like I said, when do we start?" said Toph.</p><p>He couldn't say why, but the thought of leaving the Fire Nation, going to a new, unowned land, and building a <em> city </em> from scratch sounded worse than bathing naked in a tub of hot fire flakes. </p><p>"You don't look very excited, Sokka," said Zuko. </p><p>"Yeah, no kidding," Sokka muttered. </p><p>"What's wrong with you, Snoozles?" Toph demanded. "What are you scared of?"</p><p>"I'm not <em> scared </em>," Sokka insisted.</p><p>"I'm not going," said Zuko. "I'm needed here in the Fire Nation. If you'd like to stay and help manage the relationship between the city and the Fire Nation, that would be fine."</p><p>"But," Aang piped up, "we kinda need a group leader, and well, you're always the man for that job, Sokka." </p><p>Toph punched him in the arm. "Wow, Mr. Leader, get a load of that." </p><p>Though he would never admit it, flattery <em> always </em> worked on Sokka. He rubbed his arm where Toph had hit him, trying to contain his smile. A fleeting thought of how Rayna would react to this news crossed his mind, but he pushed it away when he asked, "So when do we start?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks so much for reading!</p><p>Sorry this took so long. It was a hard chapter to write! More will come very soon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Laying Foundations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A year later, the gang are working hard to build a city, and a future - but that doesn't stop them from banging out their early-twenties.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It didn't surprise Toph how difficult, how painstaking the process was to create what was essentially a fifth nation. It didn't surprise her the number of times that the gang butted heads--sometimes they found themselves in outright yelling matches. It didn't surprise her that despite the sweat, blood, and tears, they were all having a blast. </p>
<p>What surprised Toph was how distinctly the land under her bare feet felt like <em> home</em>. When they had arrived in the territory that they would call the capital of nations a year ago, and Toph had felt the gravelly earth between her toes, the firm and unyielding feel of it, she had known right away that she belonged here. So much so, that it had taken no less than a day-and-a-half for her to pick her favorite spot of unclaimed land, plant her feet, and earthbend herself a perfect little house. And although Katara had teased her for going domestic, over the past year, it had become the gang's favorite hangout spot. </p>
<p>Every day was hectic, but they'd fallen into a nice routine. They all worked long, hard days--Sokka and Aang drowning in meetings about politics and policy, Katara and Toph working on infrastructure--and spent their nights and weekends living it up. They were in their early-twenties, after all. Most nights and almost all weekends were spent at Toph's place, full of alcohol, food, games, war stories, and anything and everything else. </p>
<p>One thing Toph never expected was for the gang to get to know Satoru as well as they now had. Actually, she'd never expected any aspect of her relationship with Satoru; they were now trying their hand at a long-distance relationship--Toph still didn't know how she'd agreed to that--where Satoru visited their city for a week every month, and Toph made the trip to Satoru for a weekend every other month. She was grateful that he'd taken the short end of the stick; the demanding nature of her work would have made it impossible to visit him any more frequently, and she would never admit it, but it was nice that he got to spend so much time with her friends and that he fit so well into their group. </p>
<p>They couldn't quite say the same for Rayna. All of them had been shocked that she had moved to the city with Sokka after only six months of "casually" dating. </p>
<p>"I told you so," Zuko had said to her. </p>
<p>"Think it's the real deal?" she'd scoffed. </p>
<p>"Let me know when you find out." </p>
<p>And if you asked Toph, she'd tell you it wasn't. No matter how much Sokka insisted that they cared about each other, that they were taking it slow, that he felt something there, Toph knew in her heart of hearts that this was nothing more than a rebound gone bad. In her mind, Sokka and Rayna were a ticking time-bomb with way too much time on the clock. She'd tried on occasion to ask him about it, but he never said more than, "She's been there for me when I needed her, and I'll do the same for her." Toph thought that was a pathetic answer, but who was she to pry? Toph Beifong was proudly <em> not </em> the type to stick her nose in other people's relationships, gossip, or give unsolicited advice about love and feelings. That was more Katara's speed, or any other woman's speed, really. Toph had never been that <em> girly </em> type of woman, and she wasn't about to start now, not to mention that Sokka had made it perfectly clear to all of them that their input was not welcome. Even if it were, Toph had no input to give. She could tell him of her certainty that this "relationship" was doomed to fail and that he was running headfirst at inevitable heartbreak, but that would be neither necessary nor productive. </p>
<p>There was only one thing that distinctly bothered her. A couple months ago, Sokka had declined to spend Suki's death anniversary with the gang, and had instead opted to hole up in his house with Rayna. It had come as an unpleasant surprise to all of them--even Zuko had traveled out from the Fire Nation for it--but ultimately, they'd come to a consensus that it was not their business to tell Sokka how to mourn. </p>
<p>After that, Sokka's appearance at their hangouts had become a little less frequent. He would arrive late and leave early, most of the time with Rayna, and sometimes stay home altogether. Tonight seemed like it was about to be one of those nights. </p>
<p>Satoru was mixing drinks in the kitchen, Katara was wasted on the sofa, cheering at Aang's futile attempt at playing the tsungi horn. It was a hot night, and after her third drink, Toph was finding it just a little too stuffy inside her house. </p>
<p>"Babe!" she called. "I'm stepping out!" </p>
<p>"Mmkay!" came the reply, and she smiled on her way out. </p>
<p>The city was much unlike the Fire Nation in that rather than being muggy and humid, it was dry and the sun blazed in the daytime. Nights were always cooler, and Toph enjoyed this on her porch, feet tickled by the gentle sensations of bugs and nocturnal animals moving around in the night. City nights were dead and not very city-like, though their vision was that one day, this would be the liveliest city in the world. </p>
<p>She was about to head back inside when she felt the familiar footsteps in the near distance. Her heart leapt--it had been a while since Sokka had joined them, and (another jolt of excitement) she didn't sense another set of footsteps with his. As he approached, he came into "the light," so to speak. Toph obviously didn't "see" in the traditional sense, but like vision, her seismic sense had a radius of clarity: As something grew closer, the clearer she could "see" it. This was not an unfamiliar phenomenon, just a regular part of Toph's life, and so usually, she barely noticed it. </p>
<p>Tonight, however, something was different. Tonight, she <em> noticed</em>. </p>
<p>Sokka's stride was casual, strong, his body moving comfortably over the earth. She could sense the musculature all the way up through his sinewy legs, past his abdomen and over his broad chest. She sensed his smile, warm and excited, as he raised a hand and waved, presumably at her. Her breath caught in her throat, and she was suddenly frozen in place. </p>
<p>Toph's mind reeled. It was unlikely that she would ever admit it, but most of the gang knew that she'd nursed a little torch for Sokka during their war adventures. (Aang probably didn't know, poor oblivious soul.) But that was in the <em> past </em> , when she was a newly-hormonal girl with no previous exposure to boys and crushes. It was only natural for her to get butterflies over the first half-baked boy to walk into her life. When she met Satoru, things changed, her crush on Sokka faded, and she learned what grown-up feelings felt like. <em> So what is this? </em> </p>
<p>Sokka bounded up the steps of her porch and clapped a hand on her back. “Hey,” he said, in his deep, high-energy voice, and that was that. Every last bone in her body knew it--she was <em> attracted </em> to Sokka. </p>
<p><em> Why now? </em> Confusion and stress followed her as they made their way back into her house to cheers from a drunk Katara upon seeing her brother. </p>
<p>“Woo-hoo! And Rayna’s not here! Yay!” Katara whooped. The much less-drunk others cringed. </p>
<p>“Katara,” Aang admonished, but Sokka just rolled his eyes. </p>
<p>“You look great, Sokka,” Satoru commented. “Are those new clothes?” </p>
<p>“Yup. Went shopping today,” Sokka replied not-so-modestly. He sauntered into the kitchen like he knew where everything was (he did), and poured himself a drink. </p>
<p>“Toph?” said Satoru. “You ok?”</p>
<p>She hadn’t realized she’d been standing as though glued to the spot. Shaking herself out of her stupor, she strode up to her boyfriend, plopped herself in his lap, and planted a kiss right on his lips. He was blushing when she pulled away, much to her smugness, and thankfully, it grounded her stomach a little.</p>
<p>“So what are we playing?” said Sokka, coming back into the room, drink in hand. “Anybody want to spar outside?” </p>
<p>“Count me out of that one,” Satoru said tersely. </p>
<p>“Oh come on,” said Sokka, teasing. “You gotta let me teach you to fight one day.” </p>
<p>“I’ll spar with you, Sokka,” said Katara, getting to her feet and swaying on the spot. </p>
<p>Sokka cracked up. “Good one, baby sister. Any other takers? Aang, Toph?”</p>
<p>Toph was about to agree, when Katara stormed up to her brother as best she could and shoved him with both hands out in front of her. </p>
<p>“I could take you if I was passed out with one hand tied behind my back!” </p>
<p>Sokka rolled his eyes and nudged her aside. “Aang, tell her to--”</p>
<p>“Aang doesn’t tell me what to do!” Katara all but shrieked. She swished her hand in a waterbending move, and water from Toph’s kitchen flew into the living room and slapped Sokka across the face. </p>
<p>“Ow!” he cried, clutching his cheek. </p>
<p>Toph, Aang, and Satoru snickered quietly. Sokka shot them a nasty look. </p>
<p>“All right,” he said, rounding on Katara. “You’re on.” </p>
<p>“Let’s take it outside!” </p>
<p>“Please do,” Toph chortled, leading the way. She knew Satoru didn’t care for it, but she <em> loved </em> a good late-night sparring match. Surprisingly, it was rare that Katara and Sokka would fight--usually, it was Toph against Sokka or Aang or both--but when it happened, it was <em> good</em>. </p>
<p>They took their stances on the dirt in front of the house--Toph didn’t care much for having a garden--and the fight began. </p>
<p>Even in her drunken state, Katara was impressive. Katara trained harder and more frequently than any of them, especially now that they had settled close to the coast. The few citizens of their city knew that they could usually find Master Katara on the shore and sometimes <em> in </em> the actual water, practicing her forms and her control. Toph loved a good joke at Katara’s expense, but her respect for Katara shattered all boundaries, especially now. She threw blow after blow at Sokka (presumably from Toph’s kitchen, but she wasn’t even mad), which he dodged and deflected just as skillfully. </p>
<p>Toph whistled loudly. “Wow, Snoozles, you gonna let your drunk little sister beat you?” </p>
<p>Sokka growled and advanced aggressively towards Katara. </p>
<p>“I think I’m gonna head to bed, Toph,” said Satoru, not unkindly. </p>
<p>“Kay,” she said, focused on the fight. </p>
<p>Satoru moved to kiss her cheek--Toph turned her face to properly kiss him--and went back inside. </p>
<p>“Everything okay between you two?” Aang asked her. </p>
<p>“What?” said Toph, whistling and hooting as Katara landed another solid blow to Sokka, knocking him down. </p>
<p>“With you and Satoru,” said Aang, much to Toph’s annoyance. </p>
<p>“We’re kind of in the middle of something, Twinkletoes,” said Toph, gesturing to the fight, where Sokka’s latest sword flourish caused Katara to lose her footing. </p>
<p>"I'm just asking, Toph," said Aang, sweet and genuine as ever. </p>
<p>"Everything is fine," said Toph, a little gentler this time. “Why wouldn’t it be?”</p>
<p>And then, Sokka finally planted his feet just right, side-stepped and swooshed his sword down, causing Katara to topple backwards and land flat on her back with Sokka's sword at her throat. </p>
<p>Toph leapt in the air, whooping and cheering. "Yeah! Go Sokka!" She didn't see the glare Katara directed her way, but she wouldn’t have cared if she could. All she knew was the way Sokka's chest swelled with pride and heavy breathfall, and the strength of his feet planted on the earth, and--she was too tipsy to deny it--he was <em> sexy</em>. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p><em> Everything is fine, </em> Toph told herself as she climbed into bed next to her boyfriend's sleeping form and curled herself around him, pulling his body against her chest. They had a nice routine. They didn't argue. They respected each other. They enjoyed each other's company. The sex was good. <em> What's there to complain about? </em> </p>
<p>Obviously, they didn't fit perfectly together (except for how much he enjoyed being little spoon and she big spoon). No one did--she'd bet her earthbending that even Aang and Katara had their issues. But why should she take her <em> private </em> relationship issues all around town when they weren't even bothering her or Satoru? </p>
<p><em> Everything is fine</em>, she repeated in her head, and drifted off to sleep.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Life was great. </p>
<p>Every day was packed to the brim with grueling paperwork and exhausting meetings. Sleepless nights only grew more and more frequent due to a backlog of work or to the sheer pressure of being charged with leading the effort. The people they were dealing with were among the worst, most annoying bureaucrats in the world. </p>
<p>But Sokka <em> loved </em> it. For the first time since Suki's death, he was waking up every morning absolutely thrilled just to start the day. And for the first time since the war, his work felt important and impactful. It was tiring, endless, and often thankless, but it filled Sokka with immense satisfaction and pride to know that he was at the forefront of making decisions that would not only make people's lives better, but would make the world a better place. The big-picture work was too time-consuming to allow him to be involved in the nitty-gritty of city-building, which was the reason Toph and Katara were leading the infrastructure charge, but he always itched to be a part of that as well. Against everyone's advice, he had insisted on helping institute one particular invention that had eaten at his mind for years after a long conversation with the Mechanist--running water. In hindsight, considering how hellish that work month had been, it would have probably been better to have let the Mechanist work on the project by himself, but Sokka hadn't been able to resist. With the hard work of earthbenders and waterbenders, they had been able to build an entire plumbing system into their city. Sometimes Sokka even felt prouder of this achievement than of any signed bill or contract. </p>
<p>It might have been nice to recruit Satoru on the plumbing project, given his skillset and experience with machinery, but he'd been too busy with his business, and Sokka didn't like him much anyway. The gang didn't know this, but there was just something about him that <em> irked </em> Sokka.</p>
<p>But Satoru wasn't in town this week, so life was great. Zuko was set to dock on their shore tonight, they were making strong headway to meet their deadline of opening the city in three months, and he'd just managed to go a full week without arguing with his girlfriend. He looked up out the window of his little office to see the orange glow of the sunset--his daily cue that it was time to wrap up and go home. </p>
<p>"Woo-hoo," he said to himself. "Another day." He packed up his bag and headed out. </p>
<p>Sokka always enjoyed the meandering route home that gave him a few free moments to stop and enjoy the sights of his baby city. He liked to drag the walk out; what should take someone thirty minutes to walk at a normal pace he made last an hour, sometimes longer. It was the only time he had to himself. A highly social, very energetic being, Sokka didn't usually need much alone time, but lately his mind and body had been craving it. In fact, lately he'd been feeling an unfamiliar energy drain, especially upon reaching his home. </p>
<p>He felt the extra effort it took to walk up his front steps and through the door, and the first sound that reached his ears sent a wave of exhaustion down his spine. Rayna was crying. </p>
<p>Sokka braced himself and headed inside, calling, “Honey? You ok?”</p>
<p>He found her in the cozy living room (their house here was significantly smaller than his in the Fire Nation, probably the only thing he missed about living there), poring over a letter with a glass of wine, wiping her eyes.</p>
<p>“Hey,” he said gently, joining her on the couch. “What happened?”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” she mumbled through tears. “I hate doing this.”</p>
<p>“No, come on. Don’t apologize.” He took her hand. “What happened?”</p>
<p>This had become instinctive for him--he supposed in a way, it had always been. He wasn’t the best at figuring out what was wrong, but he was damn good at stepping up and taking care of his loved ones if they needed him. Even if it was sometimes draining, it gave Sokka a feeling of security, like he was needed, and it felt good to finally be the one lending the shoulder rather than the one crying on it. </p>
<p>“It’s a letter from my mom,” she said. “My dad’s not doing well.” </p>
<p>“I’m so sorry,” said Sokka, squeezing her hand. </p>
<p>“Thanks,” she said, and curled up against him. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. They were quiet for a moment, until she said, “I might have to go back.” </p>
<p>“Oh,” said Sokka. “Yeah?” He cringed internally at his own words, but he was at a loss for what to say to that. From the way Rayna stiffened slightly against him, he knew she was disappointed by his reaction. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” she said, and he didn’t miss her pointed subtext. “He’s...I don’t know if he’ll make it. I need to go back and see him.” </p>
<p>Knowing well that this was his second chance to say the right thing, Sokka nodded. “I’ll help with whatever you need, sweetheart.” </p>
<p>“Really?” said Rayna, sitting up. She looked him in the eye, a hopeful smile on her face. “You’ll go with me?”</p>
<p>“Uh,” he said, heart sinking. “That’s--that’s not exactly what I meant.” </p>
<p>Rayna sighed and stood abruptly, wiping the last of her tears off with the back of her hand. “Typical,” she muttered. </p>
<p>“Babe,” he said, standing with her. “You know I can’t just leave--”</p>
<p>“I left for you,” she said with her back to him. </p>
<p>“Baby...I didn’t ask you to do that.” As it was every time they argued, Sokka’s voice was gentle, cajoling. He prided himself on never losing his temper with Rayna--he believed staunchly that it was his job as her partner to be steady, like a rock, whenever she was upset. It had worked with Suki, and though this relationship had presented a fresh, new batch of challenges, Sokka had faith that it would work with Rayna as well. </p>
<p>“Then I shouldn’t have to ask you!” she snapped, whirling around to face him.</p>
<p>Sokka stood his ground. “Let’s just talk about this.” </p>
<p>“You’re an <em> asshole</em>,” she spat, balling her hands into fists. “You talk a big romantic game but when push comes to shove, it’s just about <em> you </em> and what <em> you </em> want.”</p>
<p>“Rayna.” It stung, and he stepped forward, reaching out to her, but she pulled away and stormed out of the room, leaving Sokka to stew in the aftermath. </p>
<p>--- </p>
<p>"Okay, now that we're all here, I have to show you something," said Aang. </p>
<p>"Katara's not here," Sokka pointed out. </p>
<p>“I think that’s the point, Master Boomerang,” said Toph in an amused voice. </p>
<p>“What? Why? Wait,” he said, looking back at Aang, who was digging through his pockets for something. “You mean…” </p>
<p>“Yup,” said Zuko, as Aang pulled Katara’s necklace out and held it out in front of them. </p>
<p>Sokka and Zuko gaped at it. After a moment, Toph said, “I’m guessing you’re holding the necklace Katara’s been looking for this past week?” </p>
<p>“Yeah!” said Aang proudly. “I figured she would want to keep wearing this one, so I stole--ahem, temporarily borrowed it to propose to her.”</p>
<p>“Hey, hey!” Sokka exclaimed. “Congratulations, buddy.” </p>
<p>“Pretty clever,” said Zuko, looking impressed and surprised that Aang could be so crafty, a sentiment that Sokka definitely shared. He loved Aang like a brother (and now, he would really be a brother), but the poor kid was definitely a lost cause when it came to being sneaky. </p>
<p>“So when do you pop the question, Twinkletoes?”</p>
<p>“I’m going to do it when we open the city,” Aang declared. He grinned at the others, who all looked nonplussed. </p>
<p>“Aang, that’s in three months,” said Sokka. “It is in three months, right? I haven’t been looking at my calendars all wrong, <em> right?! </em>” </p>
<p>Just when he was about to panic, Toph chimed in, “Yup. Three months. Katara’s gonna <em> flip </em> if she doesn’t have her necklace for that long.”</p>
<p>“No,” Aang insisted. “It has to be this early. If I took it too close to the grand opening, she would probably suspect it. This way, she’ll never see it coming.” </p>
<p>“Again, pretty clever,” said Zuko, now looking at Aang strangely, as though he were possessed. </p>
<p>“So I get to be your best man, right?” Toph chirped, to which Sokka whirled around and glared at her. </p>
<p>“What?!” he protested. “No! I’m the best man!” </p>
<p>“Sorry, Snoozles. Beat you to it.” </p>
<p>“No! No, you didn’t! That’s not how it works! Aang, tell her!” </p>
<p>Aang just laughed as they bickered, Toph with her arms crossed calmly over her chest, Sokka wildly gesticulating as usual.  </p>
<p>“Sokka,” Zuko cut in. “What is that?” </p>
<p>They all turned to Zuko, who was pointing at Sokka’s side. In his chaotic hand movements, it seemed his shirt had ridden up, exposing a bit of his left abdomen, where an unmistakable burn scar tainted his skin. Sokka froze. </p>
<p><em> Yikes. </em> A million excuses went through his head to cover the truth, which was that his bedroom activities had gotten a little too <em> hot </em>, to say the least. </p>
<p>“What is that?” Zuko repeated, looking up from the scar at Sokka’s face, which betrayed very little emotion. </p>
<p>“What happened, Sokka?” Aang asked peering closer. Sokka tugged his shirt back down, and scratched the back of his neck, laughing awkwardly. </p>
<p>Independently, Sokka had nothing against kissing and telling, but he knew Rayna wouldn't like their (very) dirty laundry to be aired out in front of everyone, so he'd always refrained from giving his friends any details. </p>
<p>“What’s going on?” said Toph, clearly frustrated. “What’s there?” </p>
<p>“It’s a burn.” Zuko looked concerned. “Have you been sparring with firebenders?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” he lied, and he knew it was a bad move, because--</p>
<p>“You’re lying,” Toph said instantly. </p>
<p><em> Dammit</em>. </p>
<p>“Did you get Katara to take a look at it?” said Aang. “It didn’t look like it was healing well.”</p>
<p>“Sokka,” said Toph slowly, and from her voice, Sokka knew that she <em> knew</em>. “Did Rayna do that?”</p>
<p>Sokka sighed, which was answer enough. </p>
<p>"What?!" Toph shrieked. They all stared at him with identical shocked expressions. </p>
<p>"Look, let's try and keep this between--"</p>
<p>"Sokka," said Aang seriously. "This isn't okay." </p>
<p>"Wait, what do you--?"</p>
<p>"Where is she?!" Toph demanded. "I'm gonna--"</p>
<p>"What?" </p>
<p>"Aang is right!" said Zuko. "Has she done this before?" </p>
<p>Extremely confused now, Sokka looked from each alarmed face to the next. "Wait," he said, slowly piecing it together. "Do you--do you think--?"</p>
<p>Sokka couldn't help it--he started laughing. Aang and Zuko shared a look. </p>
<p>"What--" Aang started, but Toph cut him off. </p>
<p>"Oh." Her voice was an odd and hilarious combination of relieved, disappointed, and exasperated. "It's a sex thing."</p>
<p>"It's a sex thing," Sokka confirmed, chuckling. Zuko and Aang looked shocked and clearly uncertain how to register this information, while Toph looked...well, the way she had looked all those months ago when she'd been wrong about the murder in the Fire Nation. Sokka felt a sudden twinge of affection for her. </p>
<p>"Okay, cool," said Aang, obviously not cool, but very much trying to be. </p>
<p>Zuko just shook his head. "Just when I think I know you, Sokka, you always do something like this." </p>
<p>Sokka just shrugged, grinning. </p>
<p>With just a hint of hesitation, Toph asked, "Is it good?"</p>
<p>"Oh yeah," said Sokka with a sly smile. "It's <em> good</em>."</p>
<p>And at that, they all shared a good laugh. </p>
<p>
  <b>---</b>
</p>
<p>As usual, Sokka and Rayna were walking home late after a long Friday night with their friends. Zuko was set to leave the next morning, so naturally, they had partied a little harder than they typically did. Thankfully, the breeze and fresh air helped sober them enough to walk, and they did so in relaxed silence, holding hands and enjoying the night. </p>
<p>They hadn't brought up the question of Rayna's visit to the Fire Nation in four days. Sokka was almost nervous to broach the subject. </p>
<p>He squeezed his girlfriend's hand. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Rayna," he said, and he meant it. "I just can't leave. I wish I could, I really do…but I have hundreds of people counting on me to open the city. I'm sorry."</p>
<p>Rayna was quiet for a long while. Sokka waited with bated breath. </p>
<p>"Fine," she sighed. Relief washed over Sokka, and he hid it well. He had strategically planned to tell her this when she was a little tipsy to avoid another argument. Obviously, she was unhappy, but too tired and drunk to think of much else to say. </p>
<p>"I'll make it up to you," he promised. </p>
<p>"Mhmm," she slurred, leaning heavily on him. "I wish we didn't have to fight like that, baby." </p>
<p>"Yeah, I know." He wished it too, and sometimes, he felt like he was the only one trying to make it so, but he pushed that thought out of his mind and kept walking.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! </p>
<p>Excuse me if I have any inconsistencies with canon - I haven't read the comics and am piecing it together based on looking things up and what I've read in fic. </p>
<p>It is so much fun to write this--but there are times where I feel like screaming at the characters because they're doing all this stuff that is so bad for them! But alas, introspection and self-awareness only comes with age and experience...and right now these guys are just at the beginning of their journeys. </p>
<p>Hope you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Bells and Truths</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The childhood sweethearts' wedding brings with it some revelations and some drama.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So will you do it?”</p><p>“Hmm…” Sokka stroked his non-existent beard. </p><p>“Sokka…” Zuko warned.</p><p>“You...you come to me,” Sokka drawled, putting on a husky mobster voice that made Toph giggle, “on the day my sister is to be married, and ask me to commit skulduggery and petty theft?”</p><p>“Ugh, I can’t believe Aang is making me do this,” Zuko groaned. </p><p>Laughing, Sokka clapped Zuko on the back. “You didn’t have to say yes!”</p><p>"Will you do it or not?"</p><p>Zuko's desperate expression was hilarious, but Sokka decided to have mercy on him. "All right," he conceded. </p><p>"Why do we have to clean up Aang's messes?" Toph piped up. "Isn't that the best man's job?" </p><p>"I'm busy cleaning up his other messes!" Zuko snapped and left the room, grumbling something about how running a country was easier than managing this wedding. </p><p>Sokka sighed and shook his head. He was too full of joy for the wedding lovebirds to be seriously annoyed, but in the back of his head, he swore that one day he would finally explode due to Aang's blatant refusal to take meticulous care of his matters. Was it that hard to just make a plan and stick to it? Apparently so, otherwise he wouldn't be dropping everything now to go pick up thirty bouquets of white moon flowers. </p><p>Toph hopped up from where she'd been lounging on the floor and reached out for Sokka automatically, like it was a routine movement, and he gave her his arm just as intuitively. </p><p>The South Pole--where Katara and Aang had first met and thus chosen to get married--had one major drawback for Toph. The entirety of the land was frozen over, which meant she had to work harder to "see" (not so bad), and she had to wear shoes (bad. Very bad, Sokka knew from her endless griping). Over the years, he and Toph had fallen into this arrangement: If there ever arose a situation where Toph's seismic sense was faulty, she would hold fast to Sokka's arm. Though he never said it out loud, and perhaps never even <em> thought </em> it explicitly, Sokka liked being the person she held onto.</p><p>She held his arm firmly, without a trace of shyness or insecurity, yet casually, like it was merely a friendly gesture and not based in any real need. The feeling of it gave Sokka a sense of pride as they walked through the South Pole's very new market square. People nodded and greeted them like the heroes they were, and Sokka felt a touch smug to be escorting the great Toph Beifong through the market.</p><p>"Moonflowers...moonflowers," he muttered, scanning the stalls for the florist he knew and loved. </p><p>"Where do flowers even come from out here?" Toph grumbled. "Lifeless icicle." </p><p>"You <em> love </em> it here." </p><p>"I do not." </p><p>He knew she was lying from the shadow of a grin behind her scowl, and the thought filled him with affection. </p><p>"Flowers are imported from all over the Earth Kingdom," Sokka answered her. "Thanks to us war heroes, who made all those trade deals possible." </p><p>“Woot, woot!” Toph whistled, making Sokka laugh. </p><p>He spotted the flower stand and dragged Toph toward it, crying, “Moonflowers!”</p><p>“They better be pretty,” said Toph. “Poor Zuko sounded like he was about to go bat-shit bonkers and start hunting the Avatar again.” </p><p>“Who says he already hasn’t?” Sokka chuckled, pulling out his wallet. “Maybe this moonflowers thing is just a plot to get us out of the way so there are no witnesses when he kills Aang.”</p><p>“Can’t blame him,” said Toph. “Sometimes I think he asked Zuko to be best man just to get him back for all the trying-to-capture-Aang-and-restore-his-honor drama.”</p><p>“Nah,” said Sokka. “That sounds more like something <em> you </em> would do.” </p><p>“True, you’re right.” </p><p>Sokka laughed to himself at the image of Toph meticulously planning a sweet, convoluted revenge, and reminded himself never to get on her bad side. The florist emerged from behind his stand with a wheelbarrow full of beautiful white flowers. Sokka thanked him, and they headed off. </p><p>“You know,” said Toph, “I expected Aang to ask you.”</p><p>“Me? No,” said Sokka. “Aang and Zuko spend a <em> lot </em> of time together. They’re always on another wavelength--talking about spiritual stuff all the time and whatnot.” He waved it off dismissively; though he acknowledged that all of that mumbo-jumbo was true and valid, he could never understand a word of it and did not want to know. He preferred the tangible truth of his sword in one hand and boomerang in the other. </p><p>Toph tutted. “You would’ve been a better choice.” </p><p>“Aww,” Sokka teased her. “Going soft on me, Beifong?”</p><p>“<em>No, </em>” she snapped, but she couldn’t hide her blush. In a poorly-concealed effort to direct the unwanted attention away from herself, she continued, “I was surprised Katara asked me.”</p><p>“I was surprised you said yes,” he said truthfully. Though it was true that Katara and Toph bickered endlessly, it was also true that Katara bickered like that with <em> everyone </em> --she just couldn’t help herself. When Katara had told him that she was going to ask Toph to be her maid of honor, it had made perfect sense to Sokka, who knew she loved Toph like a sister. The thing was, he didn’t know if <em> Toph </em> knew that. </p><p>“I said I’d do it if she changed the title to ‘best woman,’” Toph replied, and Sokka snorted. </p><p>“Should we pick up anything else? Aang probably forgot a ton of other stuff he was supposed to do.”</p><p>“Maybe some extra booze?” Toph grinned cheekily. “I don’t know about you, but I’m planning to get <em> drunk </em> at this wedding. Maybe build me another statue. I could probably bend the earth under all this ice.”</p><p>“Careful,” he joked. “We don’t want to get like last time again. I’m in a real relationship now.” </p><p>Toph stopped in her tracks. Sokka looked down at her. </p><p>“What happened?” he said.</p><p>“What did you say?” Her voice was soft, confused.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“What does that mean?”</p><p><em> Whoa. </em> “Hold on,” he said, his brain catching up to his mouth. “You...you don’t remember?”</p><p>“I remember. We drank a lot, and I built the best statue on the face of the earth.” Typical Toph Beifong defensiveness was starting to creep into her tone. “What <em> else </em>happened?” </p><p>“Well,” said Sokka, unsure how to handle this gracefully. “We um, we almost kissed.” </p><p>He watched her impassive face process his words. </p><p>“So you mean to tell me,” she said slowly, “that I got smashed drunk, <em> too drunk</em>, actually, to remember that I almost <em> kissed </em> you, and you’ve waited a year and a half to even <em> mention it to me?!" </em></p><p>She punched him in the arm. </p><p>“Ow!” Sokka cried out, rubbing his bicep. </p><p>“What were you thinking?!” she shrieked. “Are you crazy?”</p><p>He winced. In hindsight, he now realized, it was a pretty unwise move. “I just didn’t think it was that big of a deal!”</p><p>“How could you think that!”</p><p>“Well, I mean, I wasn’t really exclusive with Rayna at the time!”</p><p>“But <em> I </em>was exclusive with Satoru!” she yelled. </p><p>“Calm down!” he yelled back. </p><p>“I will not!”</p><p>“I’m sorry!”</p><p>“You should be!”</p><p>“Um, Master Sokka?” came a voice from behind them. </p><p>“What?!” they shouted in unison, turning to face the flower vendor, who flinched at their aggression. </p><p>“Um, I forgot to give you your change, sir.” Timidly, the vendor handed over a handful of water tribe coins to Sokka and hurried away. </p><p>Sokka turned back to Toph. They were both still breathing heavily. </p><p>“I didn’t know you didn’t remember,” he said. </p><p>“It’s fine,” she said shortly. </p><p>“I just figured you didn’t want to talk about it.”</p><p>“It’s <em> fine,</em>” she repeated. </p><p>“So...am I forgiven?” He grinned hopefully. </p><p>Toph clucked her tongue. “Yeah, yeah.”</p><p>And a tightness in his chest that he hadn’t realized was there uncoiled. </p><p>---</p><p>Toph had <em> so </em> looked forward to having Satoru on her arm at the wedding. A month ago, when Republic City had opened, Satoru had been her date to the ribbon cutting, to the opening party, to Aang and Katara’s engagement party. She’d loved that feeling--being the dominant partner, the one at the head of the table, the one who “wore the pants,” so to speak. Even though she kept the private details of her relationship close to the chest, she felt a smugness whenever someone referred to Satoru as “Toph Beifong’s boyfriend.” </p><p>The wedding <em> would </em> have been another one of those times, if Sokka hadn’t gone and ruined it by almost kissing her a year and a half ago. For the rest of the morning, as she helped Katara get ready, as they prepared the courtyard where the wedding would take place, as they attended the ceremony, Toph could not pull her thoughts away from the memory that didn’t exist in her mind. </p><p><em> What had it been like? </em> Had they taken a walk by the shore after she’d built her statue? Had they held hands, or hugged first? What had they said to each other before, and worse, after? Had it been romantic, with the two of them holding each other, foreheads pressed together? Or had it been hot and steamy, with hands gripping clothes and bodies up against each other? </p><p>Katara and Aang made their gooey vows, and Toph cursed the shoes that blinded her. She knew the courtyard was full, she knew Satoru must be sitting somewhere among the guests, and she knew he must be looking at her. The stress tied itself into a knot in her stomach. </p><p>The bride and groom must have kissed, because Toph found herself snapped sharply back to the present by the sounds of applause and cheers. And then suddenly, Satoru was by her side--she <em> hated </em> not knowing where everyone was at all times. </p><p>“You look so beautiful,” he murmured, and all it did was make the knot tighter. </p><p>“Join us in the square for lunch!” Hakoda’s voice came from somewhere to her left.</p><p>Satoru took her hand and placed it on his arm, and in that moment she knew what she had to do. Because when she felt his arm under her hand, the undeniable thought that crossed her mind was that she wished the arm was Sokka’s. </p><p>---</p><p>“Are you joking?”</p><p>Upbeat music, chatter and gossip of guests, and smells of (kinda gross) Water Tribe foods filled the reception hall. Toph had opted to sit at a dinner table so that she could slide out of her shoes whenever she pleased and place her bare feet on the ground for a few moments at a time without freezing her toes off, just to check in on her surroundings every so often. When it got too cold, she would slide back into her shoes. And as much as she was tempted to stuff her feet into her shoes right now, she kept them planted firmly on the floor. Toph Beifong was not a coward, and she was going to face this head on. </p><p>“Satoru, I--”</p><p>“You’re joking,” Satoru repeated, clearly shocked. Toph could feel the increased rate of his heartbeat, the quicker breathing. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” she said, and she meant it. </p><p>“You’re breaking up with me here? Now? At Aang and Katara’s wedding?” </p><p>"I'm not trying to hurt you, Satoru--"</p><p>"Nice job," he snapped. </p><p>Toph held her instinctive flinch under control. She sensed Satoru shift uncomfortably in his seat. He was quiet for a few moments. </p><p>"If this is real--and I'm still not completely certain it is--why?" </p><p>"It's just…" She'd debated telling him the truth. Toph believed strongly in brutal honesty and no apologies. But the nagging voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like Katara told her that it was the wrong move. "I've realized I'm just not in the right space for this." </p><p>Satoru fell silent again, and she sensed him looking around. People were dancing and celebrating. Aang and Katara hadn't left each other's arms all night. Sokka was sitting with Hakoda at a dinner table on the other side of the room. Rayna was dancing with...Sokka's grandmother? Odd. She'd have to table that for later. </p><p>Toph wasn't oblivious to the fact that this was a terrible circumstance in which to break up with someone. But she believed<em> religiously </em> in dealing directly with problems, like earthbending. Rocks would only bend if you stood your ground and made them. Awkward and heartbreaking though this was, delaying it would only be worse.</p><p>Turning her attention back to Satoru, she realized his gaze was fixed on her and suddenly felt uncomfortable under it. </p><p>“It’s Sokka, isn’t it?” </p><p>The words were like icy water going down the back of her dress. </p><p>Once again, the question was presented to her: Should she be honest? Unsure of what would come out, Toph opened her mouth to answer. </p><p>---</p><p>Drunk on wine and joy, Sokka watched his sister dance with her new husband. How perfect their story was. He’d had to hold back tears during their vows, and during his speech, and again now, partly because he was overwhelmed with love for his sister, and partly because...when he looked into the sea of guests’ faces, all he could see was the gaping, bleeding void where one particular face should be.</p><p>“You miss Suki,” said Hakoda. It wasn’t a question. </p><p>Sokka felt his father’s intent gaze on him, and though he didn’t meet it, he nodded. </p><p>“It’s okay,” he said, calm and reassuring and fatherly, like he always was. “You can miss her. But you have <em> her </em> now.” Hakoda raised his eyebrows towards the woman in red-and-blue garb currently dancing with Gran-Gran. </p><p>Rayna had elected to wear that dress on her own, stating with pride that it combined both their cultures into one, beautiful outfit. It flowed over her body delicately, hugging her curves in just the right spots. Sparkly jewelry on her neck that was very Fire Nation in its styling accented her sweet, heart-shaped face, and her smile shined brighter than the stones in her earrings. Gran-Gran, Sokka noticed, was also all smiles, allowing Rayna to twirl her across the dance floor as much as her knees could manage it.</p><p>“How come we didn’t hear about her until just a few months ago?” he asked with teasing undertones. </p><p>Sokka took another sip of his wine. “It wasn’t serious.” <em> Is it now? </em></p><p>Hakoda tutted and shook his head with a smile. “Son, you know that’s not the way a man treats a woman.” </p><p>“How does a man treat a woman, Dad?” he replied. It was rhetorical, except that it wasn’t. </p><p>“You give her everything you have,” Hakoda stated simply. “You take care of her. You stand by her side. You are her strength, her pride, her joy. You love. And you don’t quit.” </p><p>He pondered that with the wine swirling around in his mouth--sweet, yet tannic, astringent. Like Rayna. </p><p>Gran-Gran stumbled just a little, but enough for Rayna to grab her under her arms and stop dancing. Sokka couldn’t hear them, but Gran-Gran seemed to say to Rayna that she was fine, and Rayna shook her head and led Gran-Gran to the nearest table. They exchanged a quick few words, and Rayna straightened up and headed towards the drinks table--and she met Sokka’s eyes and <em> smiled</em>. The brightness of her smile, the rosy cheeks framed by her short, black hair, the drunken warmth in his heart, and the throbbing, empty pit in his stomach all worked together to help him mouth the words, “ <em> I love you. </em>” </p><p>Rayna blushed and beamed, and then blew him a kiss before heading to get his grandmother a drink. </p><p>Hakoda put his drink down on the table, bringing Sokka’s attention back to him. “You’ll be fine, son,” he said proudly. He stood and patted Sokka firmly on the shoulder. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go dance with my daughter.” </p><p>Sokka stayed in his seat for a moment and watched before following suit. He was heading towards Rayna when, from the other side of the room--</p><p>“SOKKA!” </p><p>He whipped around just in time to see Satoru <em> charging </em> at him before he was punched squarely in the jaw and sent stumbling backwards. Guests shouted and murmured, stopping their dancing to turn and stare, some standing up from their seats. Shocked, Sokka straightened up, clutching his jaw. </p><p>Satoru stood in front of him, fists clenched at his sides, chest puffed out and face red with rage.</p><p>“Satoru, stop it!”</p><p>Sokka looked over Satoru’s shoulder, where Toph was scrambling to reach them, barefoot on the ice with her shoes in her hand. </p><p>“You just stay out of this!” Satoru yelled. He rounded on Sokka, who had a sinking feeling that he knew what this was all about. </p><p>“Satoru,” he said, glancing around. “Let’s take this outside. Let’s just talk--”</p><p>“You think I want to talk?!” Satoru shoved him hard, with both hands, but he barely stumbled. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Katara, Aang, and Zuko stepping towards them.</p><p>Sokka wasn’t one to back down from a fight, especially not when his assailant was making such a big show out of it, but this was clearly an unfair match, so he tried again, “Satoru, you don’t want to do this.” </p><p>“The hell I don’t! After what you did!” He swung again, and this time, Sokka grabbed his arm and swiftly and deftly twisted it behind his back, rendering him helpless. The guests gasped once again.</p><p>Sokka shot a look at his friends that said, <em> Help me get him out of here </em>, and they did so promptly and fluidly. They heard Hakoda speak up as they exited. “It’s all right, everyone, we can get back to the party…”</p><p>Outside, Sokka released a very humiliated Satoru. He felt bad; the poor guy had tears streaming down his cheeks, but if he was going to challenge Sokka to a fight, he should at least have the decency to lose gracefully. Instead, he sniffled and wiped snot messily off his face. Sokka grimaced. </p><p>“Listen, Satoru, I--”</p><p>“You should go,” Toph cut in, and everyone looked at her. Her expression was neutral, but her hands were shaking. </p><p>Satoru looked at her with heartbreak in every line of his face. It was a pity, Sokka realized, that she couldn’t see it. </p><p>“Ex<em>cuse </em> me!” Katara shrieked, throwing her arms in the air. “ <em> Sorry </em> if I’m inter<em>rupt</em>ing! Would anyone care to clue <em> us </em> in on what just happened at <em> our </em> wedding?” </p><p>Sokka looked between Toph, Satoru, and the others, and started to answer, but--</p><p>“Sokka kissed Toph while we were together,” Satoru said thickly. </p><p>And with that bomb, everyone exploded. </p><p>“You did <em> what?!</em>” Katara’s voice jumped an octave, if that was even possible. </p><p>“No, that’s not what I--” Sokka tried. </p><p>“Satoru!” Toph cried. </p><p>“Whoa,” said Aang, most unhelpfully. </p><p>“I can’t believe that just happened,” Zuko muttered, almost to himself. </p><p>“You’re right, Toph,” said Satoru. “We aren’t right for each other. I should go.” With one last scathing look at Sokka, he straightened his jacket, turned on his heel, and left them in the wake of his disruption. </p><p>The gang lived in the weighted silence for a moment, before Aang said, “What happened?”</p><p>Katara looked like she was about to chastise Sokka again, but Aang placed a gentle hand on her back, which seemed to mollify her. </p><p>Sokka turned to Toph, who was still facing towards where Satoru had stormed off. “You want to tell them?” he said, not unkindly. </p><p>“You’re the one who remembers,” Toph shot back, and the fact that she could keep her voice steady after this fiasco was an impressive feat indeed. </p><p>He sighed and faced his friends. “A yearish ago, Toph came to visit the Fire Nation. We got drunk. We almost kissed. Nothing happened. And now…?” </p><p>They all turned to Toph. </p><p>“I broke up with Satoru.”</p><p>They waited for more, and when Toph remained silent, Katara prompted in a not-so-patient voice, “<em>And?! </em>” </p><p>“That’s it.” </p><p>Sokka knew no one was surprised by Toph’s reticence, but they were <em> all </em> surprised by the way Katara just...deflated. </p><p>“Toph,” she said, suddenly sounding exhausted. “What are you doing?” </p><p>“What do you--” said Toph, already sounding defensive, but Katara cut her off. </p><p>“I know you’re not stupid,” she said. “So you know this was a really shitty thing to do to him.” </p><p>Toph said nothing. </p><p>Katara shook her head. “I want to go back to my wedding now,” she said to Aang, who nodded and took her hand. </p><p>“Everything will be okay, Toph,” said Aang. “We’re your friends and we’re here for you.” </p><p>They turned and went back to the reception hall. </p><p>“Uncle always said, the snakes you leave out will come back to bite you,” said Zuko. </p><p>“What does <em> that </em> mean?” said Toph brusquely. </p><p>Zuko smirked, clearly a little amused. “You went digging in my personal life then. Came back to bite you, didn’t it?”</p><p>Toph took in a deep breath, and for a second, Sokka thought she might punch Zuko, but she let out a short laugh. </p><p>“Funny, Sparkles.” </p><p>Zuko shrugged. “I’ll see you both back inside.” </p><p>And then they were alone. Hesitating, Sokka asked, “Are you ok?” </p><p>“Yeah,” she said, but her hands were still shaking. “It was for the best.” And now her teeth were chattering…</p><p>“Oh!” Sokka cried out, suddenly realizing. “You’re still not wearing your shoes!” Quickly, he dropped to his knees and helped a dumbfounded Toph into her shoes, wincing at the ice-cold skin of her feet. If he’d looked up for even a second, he would have caught the strange look on Toph’s face, but when he finished lacing them up and straightened, it was gone. </p><p>“You sure you’re okay?” he asked again, knowing she would say yes, and knowing it was a lie. </p><p>Toph nodded, and Sokka did the best thing he could to be there for her. He held out his arm. For a fraction of a second, she hesitated, but then, almost as if nothing had happened, she reached out and took it.</p><p>---</p><p>“So you didn’t kiss her?”</p><p>“No, but almost did. I just thought you should know.” </p><p>“This was over a year ago.” </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Sokka held his breath. </p><p>Then, Rayna rolled over in bed and curled up next to him. He put his arm around her instinctively. </p><p>“We weren’t really exclusive then, anyway,” she said. </p><p>He let out the breath he’d been holding. “Love you,” he murmured. </p><p>“Love you too.” She nuzzled his neck. “You were <em> hot </em> when you took him down like that.” </p><p>“Really?” he asked genuinely, then cleared his throat, and in a much sexier voice, corrected himself, “Oh <em> really? </em>”</p><p>Giggling, Rayna pressed herself into him. “<em>Really. </em>” </p><p>They made love like it was their wedding night, and perhaps, Sokka thought, one day it would be. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This was a complicated chapter for me. I want to make clear that there are a lot of things said in this chapter that I do not condone--from Toph's "wear the pants" to Hakoda's advice and more. </p><p>Exploring toxic masculinity in these characters means delving into those unpleasant values, and I do believe that, at least in Sokka's case, the toxic masculinity would come from his dad, who definitely means well but also believes in the way of life he knows. </p><p>Let me know what you think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Darkness and Fog</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Toph deals with the emotional aftermath of her breakup. Sokka stumbles into new curves in the path of his relationship.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content Warning: Abuse/Domestic Violence</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sometimes, you don’t realize you’re going through a dark period in life until you come out on the other side, look back and say, <em> Well, shit. </em> </p><p>Other times, you feel the soul-crushing weight of the dark period you’re going through with every step forward, in every cell of your body, with every strained breath you take. </p><p>This was definitely the latter. </p><p>Sleepless nights and waking nightmares tortured Toph for weeks after the wedding. Satoru's heartbroken voice, the chaos of his confrontation with Sokka, and Katara's haunting words played over and over in her mind, like a stale play that the theater refused to shut down. Worse, when she slept in their--<em> her </em> bed, the phantom feeling of Satoru's body against hers, of his breath on her neck kept her tense and rigid all night long. Splitting headaches greeted her in the mornings, and they brought dizziness and back pain with them. And every moment of her now silent daily routine reminded her of the simple fact that she was very, very alone. </p><p>There was a devastating emptiness inside her, and she craved sharing space with someone, <em> anyone</em>, but in particular, with Sokka. </p><p>Since the revelation that they had almost kissed, Toph had been forced to face the stone-cold reality that she had <em> no idea </em> how she felt about Sokka. Introspection was on her list of favorite things to do, to say the very least, but she'd spent the past few weeks combing through her history with her best friend. </p><p>There were a few possibilities swimming in her mind. One, that it was a fluke, a series of minor coincidences into which Toph, in her current vulnerable state, was reading too deeply. Her negative opinion of Rayna, the twinges she felt in her stomach whenever Sokka's voice dropped low, the times her breath caught in the moments she sensed the shape and musculature of his body in <em> particular </em> detail…these were all one-off, unrelated occurrences with reasonable explanations. Toph was definitely a woman who experienced sexual attraction to men, so the fact that she was attracted to Sokka didn't have to mean much more than that. And nobody <em> really </em> liked Rayna anyway, other than Sokka's grandmother, but she only met her the one time, and it didn't count. </p><p>Two, she had misinterpreted what Sokka had told her and made a huge mistake. Even if their almost kiss had been merely an in-the-moment lapse in judgement, it still held true that Toph had betrayed her relationship with Satoru, and therefore justified her decision to end the relationship. However, if it hadn’t happened the way Sokka’d said...Perhaps he’d made a pass at Toph and she’d rejected him point-blank. It could have happened that Sokka had <em> thought </em> she was going to kiss him, but misread the signals. After all, he’d been drunk that night too. In this case, she would have lost her relationship with Satoru for nothing, but Toph hadn’t spent <em> too </em> many hours lamenting over these thoughts. Whether the breakup had been a mistake or not, it had happened, it was done, and there was no taking it back. </p><p>Three, and this was the one that beat the inside of her skull with hammers, terrorizing her day and night--she had feelings for Sokka. Romantic feelings were something Toph would keep private from others, but usually had no trouble acknowledging to herself. She could only attribute her current confusion to the fact that so much had happened so fast, she was hurting from her breakup and muddled from the information overload, and couldn’t quite identify whether or not she <em> did </em> have feelings for him.</p><p>It would certainly explain how badly she wanted to be in his company at the present moment, but it was also true that Sokka stood out from her other friends in that he <em> understood </em> her. The rest of the gang certainly loved her and made her feel safe and welcome, but there were parts of her that they didn’t know. Not the way Sokka did. He’d been with her when she was her most vulnerable (she pushed away the memory of the airship, of her hand slowly sliding out of his), and she could never share that bond with anyone else. </p><p>Toph forcefully dragged herself out of her bed. Her mind felt exhausted, completely burned out. But no matter how much she willed it, as she trudged to her kitchen to make herself her eighth cup of tea tonight, her mind did not stop whirring, the thoughts did not leave her, and the torture persisted. </p><p>---</p><p>The fresh and developing skyline of his beautiful Republic City came into view through the dense fog as the ship approached the shore. Autumn was cold in this part of the world, Sokka was learning, but the overcast sky and chilly breeze didn’t bother him. On the contrary, when he smelled the familiar air and heard the sound of the ship docking, he felt a weight lift from his shoulders. </p><p>Rayna was still back in the Fire Nation. Her father’s passing had done a number on her, and she had leaned <em> heavily </em> on Sokka the past two weeks. Yes, he loved her, and loved taking care of her, but every night, when his head hit the pillow, he was maxed out, and a full night’s sleep was nearly impossible to achieve with Rayna waking up in tears in the middle of the night. But he doted on her as she had him when he’d lost Suki, and she expressed her gratitude and love. </p><p>And then he’d had to go home. </p><p>There had been crying, screaming, insults hurled his way for the two days it took to get from telling her he was leaving to getting on the ship out of the Fire Nation. </p><p>Sokka prided himself on being a levelheaded, thick-skinned man, not easily perturbed by quarrels, but it bothered him that he and Rayna just couldn’t seem to work out their issues without it getting ugly. This had never been a problem with Suki, and he was at a loss. As he stepped off the ship into his city, he thought maybe he’d write to his father for advice...He always knew what to do. </p><p>Some of the city’s residents waved to their loved ones descending from the ship. He heard a few excited whispers and caught a few looks his way as he passed them. </p><p>“That’s Sokka!” </p><p>“Is it really him?”</p><p>“Yes, of course. He lives in Republic City!” </p><p>Sokka grinned and did a little wave and 360-spin for them. “Happy to know ya,” he said jovially. </p><p>A man yelled out, “Show us your boomerang!” </p><p>A woman with a group of friends called, “I’d like to see that boomerang, all right.” Her friends burst into giggles. </p><p>Sokka’s grin only widened. A little flattery always went a long way. He waggled his eyebrows and opened his mouth to reply when--</p><p>“You done, Captain<em> Boomerang? </em>” </p><p>He whirled around, his eyes popped and his face split into his biggest smile yet. “Toph!” </p><p>Before she could vocalize a classic Toph Beifong snarky greeting, Sokka had wrapped her up in a bear hug, probably squeezing her too tightly, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. </p><p>“Oof.” Though her voice sounded muffled and constrained, she raised her arms up to hug him back as best as she could, patting his back from her awkward angle. </p><p>“It is <em> so </em> good to be home!” he exclaimed, and released her at last. </p><p>Smiling despite her grumbly exterior, Toph punched his shoulder. “Nice to have you back.” </p><p>“So what should we do?” he said excitedly. “We could go to the Lotus Tea House. Maybe we could visit Avatar Park and do a little sparring? A little training? It’s been so long since I trained. Ooh! I’m actually pretty hungry. Maybe lunch at The Rhino Hut?” </p><p>“Hate to burst your bubble, Snoozles,” said Toph, gesturing to his luggage, “but don’t you need to put all that away first?”</p><p>“Oh.” He scratched the back of his neck. <em> Damn. </em> Upon seeing Toph, he’d been gripped by an energy of such high intensity that the sight of his luggage brought him crashing back down to earth. He felt his heart sink, and was flummoxed as to why such a mundane thought would infuse him with such sadness. </p><p>“Come on,” said Toph. She grabbed one of his bags and slung it over her shoulder, her biceps flexing. </p><p>Sokka eyed her sinewy arms for a quick second before grabbing his own bag. “Let’s go.”</p><p>---</p><p>It was odd to be going to Sokka’s house. The fog hung low over Republic City on their walk to his luxurious home at the foot of the hills, during which Sokka would not stop talking her ear off. After the fiasco at the wedding, he had sworn that Rayna harbored no hard feelings towards her, but Toph suspected otherwise. A chill always accompanied her every time she entered a room that had Toph in it, and so Toph had taken to avoiding gatherings at Sokka's house. It wasn't that she was uncomfortable with Rayna, or even that she didn't want to get Sokka in trouble. In Toph's book, those were weak reasons to stay out of Rayna's hair, and she could stir up real havoc in the haughty woman's life if she so wanted to. No, Toph kept her distance from Rayna because she held herself in too high esteem to waste her time in the presence of someone who had to lie about having a problem with her. She was Toph Beifong, the greatest earthbender in the world, and she had better things to do. </p><p>With Rayna out of town, however, she didn't think twice before sauntering into Sokka's house and making herself at home. Dropping Sokka’s back right at the door, she plopped herself down on his very soft couch (feet planted firmly on the floor). </p><p>“So how’s Rayna?” she asked. “How’s the family?” It was surprising for a war hero, but the only funeral Toph had ever attended had been Suki’s. All of her grandparents had died before she was born, and even if they hadn’t, she doubted her father would have liked the idea of exposing her to grief in that way. She wondered for a moment whether Sokka was also inexperienced with funerals, but then she remembered his mother. </p><p>“They’re...okay,” he said, hesitating. She sensed him moving around in his kitchen, and heard the unmistakable sound of a kettle on a stove. </p><p>“Mom’s probably not taking it well.”</p><p>“Actually,” said Sokka, “she’s taking it better than Rayna. I think she was more...ready for it.” </p><p>Toph supposed that made sense. Dealing with grief was taxing enough, dealing with grief and shock at the same time… Sensory flashbacks of smoke and pine needles, Sokka’s heaving sobs, dry heat of the Fire Nation on her skin snuck into her mind. The darkness threatened to close in on her, but she fought it, as she had been since the wedding.</p><p>“Have you been to a funeral since Suki?” she wondered out loud. </p><p>“Uh...no,” said Sokka. He emerged from the kitchen and handed her a cup of tea. </p><p>More questions were on the tip of her tongue, but she sensed his discomfort and decided to keep them to herself. <em> He shouldn’t avoid it</em>. Problems, in Toph’s book, were <em> meant </em> to be dealt with head-on, but if Sokka refused to, then that was on him. <em> And anyway</em>, she thought, <em> maybe running head-first at problems isn’t the </em> best <em> way to deal with them, after all. </em></p><p>As if he could read her mind, Sokka settled next to her on the couch and said, teasingly, “So did Katara forgive you yet?” </p><p>Unable to hide her embarrassment--with Sokka, she didn’t even feel the need to--Toph groaned and slumped in her seat. </p><p>Sokka snickered. “You know she has no hard feelings, right?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Toph muttered. Katara had been shooting snarky remarks her way constantly since the wedding, but Toph knew she was forgiven, no matter how peeved her friend was. </p><p>“You know who probably has hard feelings?” Sokka said slyly. </p><p>“Sokka…” she warned. </p><p>“You could probably guess. Starts with an ‘S,’ ends with an ‘--atoru--’”</p><p>He barely finished his sentence before she punched him in the arm. </p><p>“Ow!” He doubled over laughing. </p><p>Toph scowled at him. “Funny,” she grumbled. </p><p>“Aw, come on, Toph, lighten up,” he said, still chuckling and wiping the corners of his eyes. “You look like you were drowning in your own tears the whole time I was gone.” </p><p>“I <em> wasn’t</em>,” she said pointedly. If Sokka knew what was good for him, he’d drop this conversation right here. </p><p>“Come on,” he said again, gently this time. “You keep saying you don’t want to talk about it, but then you’re still upset at the end of the day.” </p><p>“Maybe I want to be upset,” she retorted, fully aware of how unreasonable she was being. “Ever thought about that, Captain?”</p><p>“Toph.”</p><p>“Fine,” she huffed. “I feel--I miss him.” </p><p><em> What? </em> She had absolutely <em> not </em> intended to say those words. It was as if they had been pulled from her, like a hand of truth had reached into her voice and tugged the sentiment out of her mouth. Of all the exhausting thoughts that had hacked away at her mind, that hadn't been one of them. Had it? Sokka reached out and touched her leg; her heart fluttered and sank at the same time. </p><p>"That makes sense," said Sokka, still in that annoying gentle tone. "You were with him for… how long were you with him?"</p><p>"I don't even remember," she said, and to her horror, she sounded like a miserable, whiny <em> girl </em> even to her own ears. She felt the darkness, like a fuzzy, itchy, heavy blanket in the summer, threatening to overcome her. </p><p>"Well," said Sokka, draining his tea and setting his cup down. He removed his hand from her leg--her heart did another funny jump--and stood. "We just gotta get your mind off it, then. Let's go out, get into the city, get the brain juices flowing." </p><p>"I don't need you to make me feel better, Sokka," she lied. "Drop it, okay?"</p><p>"Who said I'm trying to make you feel better? I just wanna go out into the city!" he all but whined, making Toph chuckle despite herself, which, now that she thought about it, might very well have been his intention. </p><p>Convinced, but still battling the darkness, Toph stood and joined him on the way out. </p><p>Several months after its official opening, Republic City still felt like a town--quiet, with little pockets of nightlife, bursts of unconnected and short-lived energy. Even so, Toph felt the ground shifting every day. As they walked the streets, Sokka chattering her ear off, she could sense buildings being constructed a few blocks behind them, homes and apartment buildings in their varying stages of development about a quarter mile to the west. The effects of their hard work materializing before her very feet. </p><p>Sokka was the proudest of it, she knew. Out of all of them, Republic City belonged to him the most. They had all done their respective parts, chugged along tirelessly, cogs in the clock--but Sokka was the clocksmith, the strategist, and he’d spent the better part of the last year-and-a-half laying out plans, designing structures both physical and systemic, building the very earth on which this city stood. Even Aang, who had founded the city, loved it very much, and was a great diplomat and peacekeeper, didn’t quite have the foresight that Sokka did. And as he talked, about nothing in particular, Toph felt the pride emanating from his body; she knew when he looked around at the pop-up vendor stalls, he saw the bars, restaurants, and establishments that would one day be there. When he looked at the cracked cobblestone and the cramped little huts, he saw the future of the city. </p><p>And she felt the ripples of change, like the earth moving under her feet, every day. <em> Change</em>. What a beautiful and terrifying concept. </p><p>“Toph? Toph! Are you even listening to me?”</p><p>Her thoughts came clunking back to the present. “Maybe if you had anything interesting to say,” she retorted, teasing under the deadpan exterior. </p><p>Sokka shook his head, grumbling under his breath, but she heard the playful undertones in his voice too. </p><p>Which, for some reason, brought the darkness crashing down on her. Something quite like tears pricked the corners of her eyes, and she felt her throat close up. Panicking, horrified, Toph quickly turned her face away from Sokka and sucked in a deep breath as steadily as she possibly could. </p><p>“Are you okay, Toph?” </p><p>She cringed inwardly at the question, at the worry in his voice. This was so embarrassing. </p><p><em> Why is this happening? </em> They had just joked with each other, nothing more. The lightest of humor, teasing between friends. </p><p><em> But he’s not just a friend, is he? </em> The thought worked its way into her brain like an ice pick, but she resisted the torture and successfully beat down the tears, swallowed the lump in her throat. </p><p>“I’m fine, Sokka,” she said, and she felt like she meant it. </p><p>Sokka put an arm around her, squeezing her in a side-hug, releasing some of the tension and unknowingly helping her fight back the darkness. He didn’t say anything else. </p><p>Toph shared in his quiet. A strange, not unwelcome peace settled into her heart. She surmised it had come because she’d finally stumbled into clarity from her inner turmoil. </p><p>They spent the rest of the evening in the city, enjoying their time together, and Toph kept herself together well enough until she went home, where she immediately began packing her bags. How long she needed to step away, she didn’t know. When she would finally escape this darkness, she couldn’t say. The only thing she knew for sure was that she most definitely, without the slightest shred of doubt, had feelings for Sokka. </p><p>---</p><p>“Hey, Water Tribe.” </p><p>The Earth Kingdom woman made eyes at him from two seats down. </p><p>Sokka waved and offered an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I’m spoken for.” </p><p>Blue Poppy Tavern was his favorite dive bar in Republic City and he’d be damned if he was going to let this admittedly beautiful woman ruin it for him. It was loud, packed full of unsavory types, and smelled a little on the wrong side of musty, but Sokka loved it for one reason only: It served the best food and drink in the city. </p><p>Rayna had already only reluctantly agreed to come tonight because of his incessant pleading, and if she saw this woman flirt with him, it’d be over. In his time with her, he’d learned about Rayna that she came in many shades. Some things, like his drunken almost-slip-up with Toph, didn’t bother her at all, whereas others, like a (sexy) woman--<em> wow </em>, she was hot--flirting with him sent her flying completely off her sky bison. </p><p>Currently, she had stepped away to use the ladies’ room, which only added to the stress he felt when the woman moved down into the seat next to him. </p><p>“I like your ponytail,” she drawled, even reaching up to tug it a little. </p><p>Accompanying the stress was the smallest swirl of <em> arousal </em> . The air around them seemed to grow thicker,  already stuffy with body heat from the crowd of drunks in the tavern. “I…” Speechless, he swallowed hard. <em> Rayna. I’m with Rayna. </em> “I’m not…”</p><p>Before he could jump-start his brain and extract himself from this time bomb, a red-faced man with a snarl that rivaled Zuko’s elbowed his way between them and shoved Sokka, hard, both palms on his chest. It didn’t shock him, nor did anyone else in the bar bat an eyelid; fights came with the territory, and a visit to Blue Poppy was never complete without one, even if Sokka himself wasn’t involved in it. </p><p>What did come as a surprise was that Red-Face then grabbed the woman's upper arm, yanking her back, away from Sokka. The woman stumbled. </p><p>"Ow--Lee!" she cried out. </p><p>“What do you think you’re doing?” he growled into her face, spit spraying from his overly moist lips. </p><p>Instantly, Sokka sprung forward. “Let go of her!” </p><p>Red-Face shot a nasty look his way. "This is my girl!" He shook her by the arm, as if to demonstrate that he owned her. </p><p>"Let go of her," he repeated, in a lower voice. He dropped a hand to the boomerang in his belt. </p><p>The man's eyes flashed down, then he looked back into Sokka's face and sneered. "I know you. Y'ask me, you're a little bitch without your bender friends. Let's go, Lily," he snapped at the woman. She tried to remove her arm from his grasp, but he tightened his grip and made to forcefully drag her, causing her to cry out in pain again. </p><p>Sokka's vision went red.</p><p>In a fluid motion, he whipped out his boomerang and swung his arm out--the end made contact with the man's temple and sent him staggering backwards. Reflexively, he released the woman and she scampered away, clutching her bruised arm. While the man was doubled over, Sokka hit him with an uppercut squarely in the jaw; he went flying backwards and landed right on top of a table, which cracked and folded beneath him and left him sprawled on the ground amidst wooden debris, groaning in pain. </p><p>Their commotion had turned some heads, but the man had been put down, and the bargoers went back to their own drinks and quarrels when they saw that the action had ended. </p><p>With a smug grin, he spun his darling boomerang once in his hand and sheathed it. "Bitch," he spat down at Red-Face. A voice in the back of his head that sounded suspiciously like Katara's scolded him for the derogatory word, but he ignored it, quite like he was used to ignoring most of Katara's indignation. The man was, after all, being a bitch.</p><p>"Lee!" the woman--Lily--cried. </p><p>Incredulous, Sokka stared as she rushed to her boyfriend and kneeled over his injured body, helping him up so gently. The man, however, yanked his arm away. "Lay off," he growled at her, getting to his feet. "Go get me another drink."</p><p>Head hanging low, she complied, and Sokka's heart sank for her. Maybe it was the shape of her face, or her long, brown hair, or the sadness in her eyes, but he was suddenly struck by a vivid image of Katara in his mind's eye, and his blood boiled. If <em> Aang </em> were to ever his sister this way, the Avatar reincarnation cycle might just kick in a little early. Hell, if anyone ever treated <em> any </em> woman he knew this way, he would make them suffer for it. <em> Well, maybe not Toph</em>, he thought. Toph wasn't a woman who would let this happen to her. </p><p>Sokka readied himself to confront Red-Face again, when a hand on his back caught his attention. He turned around to see Rayna, who looked stricken. </p><p>"Oh, hey--"</p><p>"Let's go home," she said. </p><p>He looked into her tight expression, and the clinking of glasses and drunken shouting started to buzz loudly in his ears. He furrowed his brow. "Rayna--"</p><p>"Now." Sharp and biting, her voice vibrated with hurt and anger. </p><p>They walked home in silence. When Sokka tried to take her hand, she snatched it away with such vigor that he swore he felt sparks ignite at her fingertips. The summer air was warm, but Sokka felt cold to the bone, anxious for a reason he couldn't explain. </p><p>Only when their heavy, ornate door finally swung shut did Rayna round on him. </p><p>"I saw the whole thing," she said, accusation and fury visibly flowing through her body. </p><p>Sokka hesitated. "I had to step in, honey. He was hurting--"</p><p>"<em>Not that</em>!" Her voice boomed, cracking with the promise of tears, like thunder before rain instead of after. An ugly red flush spread across her cheeks, and her golden eyes looked like a fire was roaring behind them. This was a sight with which Sokka had become very familiar. He wasn't a stranger to Rayna's temper by any means, but it was a tricky and thorny path to navigate, and tonight, after so many months of traversing it, something inside him started to shatter. </p><p>"Then what?" he snapped back impatiently. "I'm tired of telling you to just say what you mean." </p><p>For a moment Rayna looked taken aback, but then she advanced toward him aggressively, charged with a violent energy. "You were flirting with her. Openly."</p><p>"I <em> wasn't</em>." It wasn't a lie. But… had Red-Face not intervened, Sokka privately admitted that he couldn't be sure if he would have. </p><p>"Yes, you were! I step away for a second and you're all over the first thing you see with breasts?!"</p><p>"That isn't what happened!" </p><p>"What kind of partner are you? At least be honest! Cheating <em> and </em> lying!" </p><p>"Rayna, please, calm down!"</p><p>“I saw how you looked at her!" she shrieked. "You <em> wanted </em> her!</p><p>“Maybe I did!” he finally shouted. “Maybe I’m not <em>happy</em> <em>here!</em>” </p><p>
  <em> SMACK! </em>
</p><p>Sokka staggered backwards, clutching his cheek. It took him a moment to realize she had slapped him, another one to realize what he'd said, and another to see that she was crying. Shame was the knife that gutted him, his father’s words the ice bath in which he was doused. <em> You give her everything you have. You take care of her. You stand by her side. You are her strength, her pride, her joy. </em></p><p>Not a month had passed since her father's death, and Sokka was out looking at other women in bars. <em> You stand by her side. </em></p><p>She stood in front of him, red-faced with anger, tears streaking her cheeks. <em> You take care of her. </em></p><p>He straightened up and took a few deep breaths. The dust settled. </p><p>"I'm sorry," he said.</p><p>She covered her face and sobbed into her hands. </p><p>He stepped forward and gathered her into his arms. She cried into his chest. "I'm sorry," he repeated. </p><p>---</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Six Months Later</em> </strong>
</p><p><em> Ahh, tea. </em> The flowery aroma of her favorite white tea floated all through her house. </p><p>Alone time suited Toph well. It was different from loneliness in that she had a choice in it, and now that she was here, she didn't know why she had waited so long to choose it. </p><p>Her days were long and leisurely, her nights were warm and gentle. With a pleasant, peaceful routine, she kept the darkness at bay. It loomed at the horizon every morning, kissed her good night every night just to remind her it was there, but it stayed in its place. She'd built a little hut on the outskirts of a village in the Northern Earth Kingdom. Every week, a farmer in town sent his son to drop off food for her, and in exchange, she helped him with home repair and soil problems when he needed it. Other than that, she didn't interact much with anyone else. </p><p>And that was the best part. No one was around to tell her what to do or what they thought of her. </p><p><em> I could get used to this. </em> She took a sip of her tea and enjoyed the warm breeze by the kitchen window. Sure, she missed her friends and her heart ached for Sokka from time to time, but she wasn't quite ready to leave this oasis to visit them, and they weren't going anywhere…</p><p>Toph frowned. She dug her heel into the ground and listened. </p><p>Footsteps--<em> familiar </em> footsteps--were approaching her door. With an exasperated sigh, she tapped her foot to earthbend her front door open. </p><p>"Hey, sweetness," she called from the kitchen, and waited until Katara made her way through the house. </p><p>"Toph?" came Katara's hesitant voice. She finally found her in the kitchen and stopped in the doorway. </p><p>"Want some tea?" Toph stamped her foot again to earthbend the ground beneath Katara's feet and drag her to the little dining table in the corner. </p><p>Katara squeaked in surprise, but just shook her head disapprovingly as she sat. "I hate when you do that," she muttered. </p><p>Smirking, Toph poured her a cup and started brewing another pot. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure, O Sugar Queen?" </p><p>And there was that hesitation again. An inkling of worry crept into her taste buds with the tea--uncomfortable bitterness mixed with light flowers. </p><p>"What's going on?" </p><p>"Um," said Katara. "Here you go." She held something out for Toph, who took it. It felt like an envelope made of thick paper. </p><p>"Cool," said Toph sarcastically. "This really cleared things up. Thanks."</p><p>"It's a wedding invitation," said Katara, and the uneasy thump of her heartbeat indicated to Toph that it was not going to be a happy occasion. </p><p>Her brain whirred and her stomach churned as the truth of the words Katara hadn't said yet sank into the air, made it heavy with reality and heartbreak. </p><p>"Sokka is getting married." </p><p>And the darkness closed in.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This turned out to be a lot heavier than I thought it would be! I hope I did justice to Toph struggling with this type of emotional stress. Heartbreak sucks!</p><p>Again, I just want to be clear that I don't agree with or condone some of the sexist values the characters believe in--particularly Sokka's thoughts on Toph being someone who "wouldn't allow herself" to be a victim of domestic violence. It's antiquated and victim-blamey, but I do think Sokka's been raised in a culture where victims are seen as weak, which would mean strong people can never be victims. </p><p>Thank you so much as always for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Loose Ends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A lot can happen in three years, but a lot more can happen on a birthday weekend.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content Warning: Abuse/Domestic Violence</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>Three Years Later </em> </strong>
</p><p>The twinkling gold of a low sun washed the unfamiliar bedroom in its forgiving glory, painting the indignity in the bedsheets in a wistful light. It woke Sokka from his nap; he rolled over gracelessly and rubbed the grogginess out of his eyes. He sat up, feet over the edge of the bed, his back to the woman on the other side. He didn’t look at her. </p><p>As quiet as he could be, Sokka dressed and gathered his things, tied his hair back up, checked his neck in her mirror for any love marks--he had a strict rule against them, but sometimes things got out of hand. To his relief, there were none, but a nasty bruise around his left eye stared back at him, taking longer to heal than usual. She had seemed to think it was sexy. </p><p>Behind him, she stirred in her bed, sleepy groans falling from her delicate mouth. He didn’t turn around. </p><p>“Leaving already?” came her soft voice. </p><p>“Yeah, I gotta go home.” </p><p>“Mm, can we do this again?” </p><p>Sokka’s hands shook, his heart trembled. “Can’t make any promises.” He kept his tone light and flirty, and she giggled; he was practiced now in the art of deception. Soliciting a specific reaction from a person was, after all, a type of battle strategy, was it not? </p><p>Finally, on his way out, he gave her one last look. She was gorgeous, silk sheets cascading over her still naked body, dark skin glowing in the orange sunset light. He smiled and winked, and she blew him a kiss on his way out. </p><p>He took the long way home. Meandering, taking in the beautiful city under the rosy sunset, he took his time to pull the wedding ring out of his pocket and put it back on. There had been a time when the city had been so sparsely populated that anyone would have recognized him, known who he was, but now, almost four years after its birth, Republic City was a haven where all he had to do was let his hair down and pocket his ring to become somebody else. </p><p>They called it a “walk of shame,” and the first few times, he had been consumed by it. But like all things, it only became easier with time and practice. The more he went out, the more beds he stained, the easier it became to look Rayna in the eye, to touch her, to kiss her. </p><p>The only thing that never got easier was the walk home. The switch from fantasy to reality was ever-painful, ever-exhausting, and Sokka was certain that no amount of time or practice would soften the dread he always felt at the prospect of going <em> home</em>.</p><p>---</p><p>“It’s Sokka’s birthday! What should we do? Maybe we can all go icicle-sledding. You and I can bend the water under his feet! That should work, right?” </p><p>Even at twenty-four years old, Aang was still the bubbliest person in the world, though his childlike energy could be attributed to the fact that he was currently running around their house, holding their one-year-old son high above his head, making <em> whoosh </em> sounds all the while. </p><p>“Sokka’s birthday is in a week,” said Katara, amused. “Are you sure you’ll be here?”</p><p>“What do you mean?” said Aang. “Of course I will.” </p><p>“Okay,” she said skeptically. “So what should we do? Ice-sledding and maybe a nice family dinner at home.” </p><p>“Uh,” he said, and she knew, though he kept airplaining little Bumi with just as much energy, that he had felt the sting of her disbelief. “Sure, that sounds great.” </p><p>“That is, if he doesn’t want to spend the day alone with Rayna.” The scorn was evident in her voice. </p><p>It was no secret that Katara couldn't stand Rayna. She had pestered him for weeks, if not <em> months</em>, to call off the wedding, citing all types of reasoning--from the fact that their relationship was still too young to the fact that their traditional Water Tribe blue color didn't match Rayna's skin tone. Finally one day, Aang pulled her aside and told her, in gentle words, to quit it, that the wedding was happening whether she liked it or not, and that if she kept her antagonism up any longer, Sokka may pull away entirely. Katara, who believed in chipping away at a problem until it was solved, wasn't convinced, until Sokka had asked her, plainly, with what had seemed like a lot of courage, to support him on his wedding day. It had been the <em> tired </em>look behind his eyes that had finally quieted her nagging, but nothing could successfully quiet her thoughts and worries. </p><p>“Well, if he does, we can just have the party another day. There’s no rule that you have to celebrate your birthday on your birthday. Hey Bumi, maybe we can celebrate yours today! And Mom’s tomorrow! How’s that sound?” He brought Bumi down, squished him in his arms, and blew a raspberry on his cheek, making him laugh a gurgly, infant laugh. Katara couldn’t help her smile. </p><p>“I’m a little worried about him,” she admitted. </p><p>“Bumi? Why? What’s wrong? Is he sick?” Aang pressed his cheek to Bumi’s to check his temperature.</p><p>Katara rolled her eyes. “Not Bumi. Sokka.”</p><p>“Sokka? Why?” </p><p>“Don’t you think he’s been getting in too many fights lately? Every time I see him, it’s like he has a new bruise.” She chewed on her bottom lip. </p><p>About two years ago, she’d started noticing the increased frequency of black eyes and busted lips, of his off-hand mentions of soreness in his muscles. She’d confronted him immediately, perhaps a little more harshly than she should have, but what else was she supposed to do? At first, he’d just grinned and quipped, “You should’ve seen the other guy,” but after a few months, Katara had been unrelenting, and they’d had an explosive fight that nearly blew the roof off her house. </p><p>After that, Aang's prediction finally came true, and Sokka started keeping to himself more. Since Suki’s death, he’d already become more withdrawn than he’d ever been, but he barely came around even once a month anymore. Welcoming Bumi to the family had seemed to motivate him to visit more often, but his enthusiasm hadn’t lasted very long. </p><p>“I guess it doesn’t help that Toph isn’t here,” Aang sighed, finally sitting and settling Bumi into his lap. </p><p>“I guess,” said Katara. “Though I don’t know how much help she’d be in getting Sokka to <em> stop </em> fighting with strangers.”</p><p>They both shared a laugh at that, but it was tinted with melancholy. </p><p>Toph had made a brief appearance at Sokka’s wedding, then disappeared. Every once in a while, she dropped a note to let them know she was okay and safe, but no one knew where to find her. Katara knew Sokka was <em> crushed </em> that his best friend was completely missing in action, and part of her was furious at Toph, but she could hardly blame her. As long as she lived, she would never forget the look on Toph’s face when she’d delivered the news of Sokka’s engagement--like a destroyed and debilitated heart trying desperately to hold itself together. They’d always known Toph’s mind worked in mysterious ways, and if this was how she needed to heal from the hurt, Katara was all for it. Still, they all missed her dearly. </p><p>“I just wish he would take better care of himself. I can’t keep taking care of everyone,” she said. </p><p>Aang glanced at her, probably hearing the words she wasn’t saying. “You don’t have to take care of him,” he pointed out. </p><p>“I know,” she muttered. “It’s just…”</p><p>“You’ve been doing it for so long, you don’t know how to stop,” said Aang. </p><p>She nodded. “And I’m scared that…”</p><p>This time, the unspoken words sat in the air for a moment before Aang finished her thought again. “That you’ll have to keep taking care of him forever.” </p><p>“Yeah.” She met his eyes. </p><p>“I’m sorry, Katara,” he said. “I’m trying.” </p><p>“I know,” she said immediately. She knew it was the truth, and she didn’t resent Aang at all for prioritizing his Avatar duties. She <em> didn’t</em>. “Let’s just have a nice birthday anyway.” </p><p>Aang nodded, and they left the tension for another day. </p><p>---</p><p><em> Well, shit</em>. </p><p>Freshwater waves underneath the ship sprayed droplets of water onto her face, an unpleasant sensory experience that did nothing to help the dull nausea she’d felt since the beginning of the trip. Her bare feet were planted on the steel deck, clinging desperately to the little island of sight that was the Fire Nation royal ship. </p><p>Still, Toph stood tall and powerful in the middle of the deck, energy and emotion flowing through her as freely as the water in this bay. This was what it felt like to be out of the woods.</p><p>Three long years it had taken her to emerge from the deep pits of despair and finally return to Republic City. She felt a little like a celebrity, making a dramatic and long-awaited return home after removing herself from the limelight in the wake of a juicy scandal. The thought made her laugh to herself; reality wasn't too far off. </p><p>From behind her, she sensed royal boots approaching, unmistakable temperamental energy in Fire Lord clothing. </p><p>“What’s funny?” said Zuko. </p><p>“Nothing,” said Toph. </p><p>“We’re almost there,” he said. </p><p>“What a relief.” If she had to spend any longer without the feel of solid ground under her feet, she might actually vomit. </p><p>Toph had neglected to inform their friends that she'd spent the past two months visiting her favorite ball of fire. In fact, she'd also neglected to inform them that she was coming back at all. She was a fan of a good surprise.  </p><p>Zuko stood with her for a moment; she supposed he was looking at the land they were approaching. If she could, she would be too, and eagerly at that. </p><p>"Are you ready to see him?" he asked. </p><p>“No,” she said pointedly. “And I probably won’t be no matter how much I try.”</p><p>“Yeah, I understand,” said Zuko sympathetically. Toph waited for the shoe to drop, and when it did, she felt Zuko freeze, then clear his throat awkwardly. “Uh… I meant, uh…” </p><p>“I know what you meant, numbnuts.” She punched his arm, affectionately, of course. “Yeah. I’m ready.”</p><p>For three years, time had moved slowly, like a creek of molasses. There had been days she had barely been able to pull herself out of bed--the days surrounding Sokka's wedding were some of them. With a carefully crafted routine, consistent meditation, and renewed focus into the study of earthbending, those days had eventually faded. Over months of grueling work, buckets of sweat, blood, and (lots of) tears, Toph had deepened her connection to the element, understood it in ways she suspected no one yet had, except perhaps badgermoles. They were more badass than she'd ever be. </p><p>Days on end she had spent lying, often naked, on the dirt ground, just breathing with the planet underneath her body, feeling the ever-connected veins running through its crust. And as she breathed, she healed. Pain of love lost transformed into hope of love found--or rather, rediscovered. Courage bloomed where heartbreak had been, and she climbed out of her sunken hole into the power of the sun and her feelings. </p><p>That was what it felt like--<em> power. </em> Surging through her like elemental energy, it had driven her to Zuko in the Fire Nation, and ultimately back to Republic City. Back home. <em> Back to Sokka. </em></p><p>Fondly, she remembered the conversation she'd had with Zuko two days after she'd arrived in his country. </p><p>
  <em> "I'll let you two catch up." Mai dropped a kiss on Zuko's cheek and left the room.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Toph felt her footsteps and the tiny heartbeat inside her womb become distant. "Guess it's my own fault I didn't know about any of this," she joked.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Well, no one knew how to reach you," he said, apologetic.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Whatever happened to whatserface? The head of security?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Zuko shrugged. "It was a fling. A pretty bad idea actually." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "No, really?" she said sarcastically, though with a hint of a teasing smile. "Does she still work for you?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Yeah." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Toph let out a low whistle. "That's gotta be awkward." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Not really." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "You're lying," she said in a sing-song voice.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She heard the scowl in his voice when he said, "Everybody's been worried about you," as if he regretted the fact. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She shrugged. "I had to do what I had to do." Part of her was sorry that her friends had been concerned, but she could truly apologize for taking care of herself.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "They said Sokka really misses you."  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> At that, her heart did a funny leap. "I miss him too." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> If Zuko was surprised that she’d admitted to it so freely, he didn’t let on.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Toph considered her next words carefully before saying, “I’m going to go back and fight for him.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Spoken aloud for the first time, the thought became a mission.  </em>
</p><p><em> Zuko didn’t say anything, </em> not <em> that she needed him to, but the energy that was born from her declaration wasn’t the </em> most <em> comfortable to sit in, so she prompted him, “Think I stand a chance?” </em></p><p>They docked on the island, and when the ship (finally) connected with land, the radius of vibrations under Toph’s feet suddenly expanded. She let out her first full breath since boarding the ship. </p><p>As they descended the ramp, Zuko said, “I think you stand a chance. I think you’re going to win.” </p><p>“I have to,” Toph replied. “My honor depends on it.” </p><p>“Ugh,” said Zuko, throwing his head back dramatically. “I can’t believe all of you still do that.” </p><p>“Pfft, please,” said Toph with a grin. Her nerves were high, but so was her drive. Toph was a fighter, a champion, and a warrior, and she was ready for battle. </p><p>---</p><p>Life was a gravelly dirt road with hidden thorns that would stab the soles of your feet if you weren’t careful. It twisted through a dense forest of trees so tall you couldn’t even hope to see the sky, and shrubbery so overgrown that branches would scrape your arms if you forgot to wear a covering. Predators prowled behind the thicket, sometimes aggressive and violent, other times so well-camouflaged that you could mistake them for friends until they attacked you. Perhaps it would be easier to traverse this dangerous road if you could see the end of it--see where you were headed, and know the point of it all.</p><p>But that was not an option, and so you could either trudge through to the best of your ability, or step off the road altogether and let the monsters in the forest take you. And Sokka was determined to reach the end of the road. </p><p>The thoughts were kind of <em> existential </em> to be having on a birthday. He supposed that was what getting older did to a person. </p><p>It had been too long since the last time he'd visited his sister's house on the island. He wished they lived closer to him. The trek down to the shore coupled with the ferry ride across the bay made the trip a day-long ordeal, which was too much to ask from Rayna. Though it was likely that if he did ask, in the right way at the right time, she would let him go, he'd then have to deal with a sour mood from her for days. And then Katara would inevitably steer their conversations towards the topic of his marriage… All in all, visits had eventually become too much of a strain on him from all angles. </p><p>On the morning of his birthday, however, the spirits had blessed him with the smiling Rayna he had first fallen for, and they'd made it all the way to Aang and Katara's dinner without a single argument. It was these days that made it all worth it--when he could make her laugh so hard she had to grip his arm to stand straight, when she would kiss him on the ferry and tug on his wolf tail, when he looked into her golden eyes and saw how much she loved him, needed him. It always came with a hint of guilt; Sokka couldn't help remembering the <em> other </em>women, the way he'd made a routine out of giving into temptation. But after four long years with Rayna, if there was one thing he could do expertly, it was compartmentalize. For the whole night, he strategically shelved his feelings of guilt and stress, and opened up his joy box. </p><p>His sister's home was a wonderful fusion of Air Nomad and Water Tribe design, colors blending together like they were meant to be, art on the walls specially commissioned to represent a marriage of the two cultures. Harmony and family. They had an amazing dinner with the best meat he'd ever tasted ("How did the vegetarian know where to get this?" he asked. "Rayna recommended it! She said it was your favorite," said Aang. Rayna blushed and squeezed his hand; his heart softened), and then settled into the comfy chairs in the living room, little Bumi asleep in Sokka's lap.</p><p>"He is so cuuute," Rayna gushed. "Aw, every time we're here, I just fall more in love. My mom keeps asking when we're gonna have one."</p><p>"Really?" said Katara, clearing the table. Sokka heard how hard she was trying to be polite, and felt deep gratitude for her loyalty to him. </p><p>"Yeah, but… I don't think we're ready, right babe?" She smiled in Sokka's direction. </p><p>"She's just being nice," Sokka said to Katara, rolling his eyes affectionately. "I'm the one who thinks we aren't ready. Rayna would have kids tomorrow if she could." They'd had many an explosive fight over it, but he appreciated Rayna presenting a united front to their family.</p><p>Rayna giggled and blew him a kiss. "Knows me so well. Katara, can I help you clear up?" Without waiting for an answer, she stood and joined Katara at the table. Sokka watched his wife and sister cleaning up together, a rare picture of cohesive family, and for a quick second, wished it could be like this all the time.  </p><p>He put the longing back into its box and turned back to Aang, who was staring out the window by his armchair and bouncing his leg up and down, almost compulsively. </p><p>"So what's going on in Republic City, guys? I heard the crime rate is getting out of control," he said. </p><p>"Yeah," said Sokka, leaning forward. "The police force is trying to crack down on it, but it's only getting worse. Our legal system is still new. Not to mention all the stupid in-fighting on the council." He scoffed and rolled his eyes. Every day since the opening of the city and the republic, Sokka regretted turning it over to the idiots who currently occupied City Hall. It was excruciating to read the news every day and watch the city council morons desecrate the beautiful city he had built. </p><p>"Well, it's not all bad things. A lot of new businesses are here now. And they say the farmers outside the city are doing great," said Katara, returning to the living room and settling into one of the other armchairs. Rayna followed suit and snuggled up next to Sokka on the couch. Bumi stirred a little in Sokka’s lap. Cooing, Rayna scooped him up and rocked him in her arms. </p><p>"Do you think any of the new people running for city council might help?" said Aang. </p><p>"No way. None of them are really actually interested in <em> working </em> for the city. All they want to do is be buddy-buddy with each other and help themselves. I'm actually thinking about running." It was the first time Sokka had voiced the thought.</p><p>"You should do it," said Aang instantly, with a bright smile. </p><p>"Really? Are you sure?" said Rayna. </p><p>"You sound like you think it's a bad idea, Rayna," said Katara coolly. </p><p>"I… No, it's not that," she said. "You just never mentioned anything about this."</p><p>Sokka shrugged. She was right, he hadn't. The thought had been brewing in the back of his mind for <em> months </em>, but the truth was, he didn't confide his musings in Rayna anymore. </p><p>The positive response from his family triggered an image in his mind's eye of being behind a desk again, plans laid out in front of him again, making a difference in people's lives again. There was only one factor that concerned him: Republic City (and the United Republic of Nations) officials were elected, <em> chosen </em> by the people based on how much they believed in their abilities to serve them. The council had only been active for a few years; this was the second election in the history of Republic City, and it was already getting ugly. Smear campaigns and dirty gossip had taken over the rhetoric surrounding the candidates, and Sokka's private life wasn't exactly <em> wholesome</em>. How he would keep his bad habits from becoming common knowledge was a monster all on its own. </p><p>Outside, they heard the sound of a ship docking. “Must be Zuko,” said Katara. </p><p>"Well, I think you should do it, Sokka," said Aang again. "The people love you! You'll definitely get elected. And the city will be in good hands." </p><p>"Thanks, Aang," said Sokka, genuinely touched. </p><p>"He's right, Snoozles," came a voice from behind them, and Sokka's skin went <em> cold.  </em></p><p>As though in a dreamlike state, he whirled around. Goosebumps rose on his skin at the sight before him. <em> I'm seeing things. I'm hallucinating. It can't be. </em></p><p>Toph stood in the doorway with her feet planted and arms crossed over her chest, looking magnificent in her simple green tunic and signature smirk. </p><p>The rest of the world suddenly melted away. Sokka was distantly aware of his family in the room with him, of a figure in red and gold (Zuko?) standing at Toph’s shoulder, but even at the rate his mind was spinning, he could only properly register <em> her</em>. His best friend, who had disappeared off the face of the earth after his wedding, who had sent word over the past three years to his family but never to him, who was standing <em> in front of him right now</em>. </p><p>“Toph...I...what are you...when did you…?” He could feel his heart pounding right out of his chest, and realized dimly that she could probably feel it too. </p><p>Toph let out a short burst of laughter--his heart <em> fluttered</em>--it occurred to him a few seconds later that she was laughing at his reaction, or rather, their reactions. </p><p>Behind him, Katara and Aang were already out of their seats, now rushing forward to bury Toph in hugs. Sokka stared at them, his consciousness slowly clattering back into his mind like a rock-a-lanche in the Serpent’s Pass. The last rock landed with a crash at the same time that Katara and Aang released her, and Sokka strode forward and before he knew it, had her tight in his arms, emotions flooding out of their respective boxes and through every cell of his body, compartmentalization forgotten. </p><p>She hugged him back just as hard. “Happy birthday, Sokka,” she mumbled into the crook of his neck, warm breath making his skin tingle. </p><p>“Missed you, Toph,” he whispered back. </p><p>“Well, I’m here now.” </p><p>---</p><p>Polite though she refused to be, Toph had learned a brutal lesson from Aang and Katara’s wedding, so she’d kept her mouth shut at Sokka’s birthday party. Patience, after all, was her best virtue.</p><p>Instead, she waited until the next morning and walked to Sokka’s house, intending to invite him outside and privately confess her feelings. Every time she’d imagined this moment, her mind had always gone haywire when it came time for Sokka’s reaction. Would he agree then and there to leave his wife? Would he kindly turn her down? Would he tragically, dramatically confess that he felt the same way, but couldn’t break his promise of marriage to his wife? (That last one didn’t sound like Snoozles, but her imagination was powerful.) </p><p>If he didn’t reciprocate her feelings, she would let it go, but after feeling his heartbeat last night Toph doubted this possibility. Other than that, his reaction hardly mattered. Rayna was <em> bad </em> for him, of that much Toph was certain, and she had returned to fight for her best friend. </p><p>She was about twenty feet from Sokka’s house when she sensed something. Digging her heel into the ground, she narrowed her gaze and listened. The roots of her seismic sense traveled twenty feet forward, into the foundation of the house, up its walls, and into the second story, where two bodies--Sokka and Rayna--were clambering around one of the rooms. Toph felt the accelerated heart rates, the thudding of a body--Sokka’s--against the wall and onto the floor. </p><p>
  <em> Something is wrong. </em>
</p><p>Propelled by a sudden urgency, Toph started running. At the front of the house, she stamped her foot, bending the earth beneath her feet to rise like a tower and take her right outside the second-story window of the room in question. She could hear them yelling at each other inside the house. With a single move of her hand, she bent the earth to launch herself through the window, tucking her body as she crashed through the glass and tumbled into the room. </p><p>The energy inside the four walls was <em> volatile. </em> Obviously, not all of the furniture in the room was made of stone or metal, so Toph could only vaguely sense the broken items and debris around the space. A faint smell of smoke and dried blood hung in the air. Toph zoned in on Sokka, stumbling to his feet in the corner of the room, hands up to defend himself from--</p><p>
  <em> Rayna.  </em>
</p><p>Before they could even react to the glass-shattering intrusion, Toph planted her feet, raised both hands, and pushed them out in front of her--a rock from outside hurled itself through the window and slammed right against the front of Rayna’s body, sending her flying. Her back hit the wall with a thump, and she collapsed on the ground, out cold. </p><p>The silence of the aftermath was deafening. </p><p>And then it was broken by an unfamiliar sound. Toph’s sense perked up, she felt Sokka’s body shaking behind her--and realized he was <em> crying. </em> It wasn’t like she had never seen Sokka cry before, but this…</p><p>She could feel the tension in his muscles, like he was fighting while standing still, like the sounds and tears were being wrenched from his body against his will. </p><p>Questions burned in her mind. How long had this been going on? Did Katara know? Did Aang know? How frequently did it happen? Why hadn’t he just… <em> stopped </em> her? </p><p>“Sokka,” she murmured. </p><p>“I’m fine,” he gasped. She sensed him wiping his eyes ferociously.</p><p>A realization struck her like a bolt of lightning, one millisecond at a time. Sensations flooded into her mind like a flash memory--burning fire beneath them, her sweaty hand desperately clinging to Sokka’s, his voice scared and sorry, the voice of a young warrior meeting his own mortality. At the time, Toph had thought there could be no lower point than this. What could be more painful, more terrifying, than the reality of death? After they had won the war, how could they travel anywhere but upwards?</p><p>Now she could see with clarity the twisted, treacherous road that was life--not a trail through mountains and valleys, not a road of ups and downs but a winding road through a dangerous wood.</p><p>Perhaps their flirtation with death during the war would always be their worst moment, but who was to say nothing else would ever compare? </p><p>Gently, Toph approached Sokka and wrapped her arms around him. They sank to the floor together, he a shivering mess, she a steady, breathing rock. </p><p>The road they were taking was undoubtedly plagued with endless perils, but with Sokka slowly calming down in her arms, Toph knew they would reach the end of it together. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>END OF ACT I</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oof. This was a tough one. </p><p>We'll see where the road takes us from here. </p><p>Thanks everyone for reading.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Seeing Through Dust</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hearts are on the line once again as Sokka and Toph face the fallout of his marital strife.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content Warning: Mentions of Abuse/Domestic Violence</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>ACT II</strong>
</p><p>Sokka only properly came to in the middle of the night.  The experience of Toph quite literally crashing into his very private life shattered something inside him. He couldn't remember when he finished crying, but he did remember refusing to leave his passed-out wife despite Toph's urgent insistence. He remembered--as though he'd been watching the scene from outside of his body--getting to his feet and telling Toph he was fine, he could take care of it, she could go. They had both known he was lying. So Toph had taken control. </p><p>The fresh, bleeding memories were hazy and confusing, but Sokka guessed Toph had shut him away in a guest bedroom and elected to watch over Rayna alone. He couldn't remember if he had protested. He barely remembered Toph emerging at the bedroom door, perhaps minutes or perhaps hours later to retrieve him. "She's awake and fine, so let’s go now," she had said curtly, and before Sokka could reply, "<em>No </em> questions." </p><p>And now, in the middle of the night, he found himself in the dark, in an unfamiliar bed, catching his breath. The details of the day faded like a nightmare after waking, still painful and raw, but fuzzier with every breath. Gentle chirping of bugs and whistling of wind outside grounded him, and his heartbeat grew steadier as he zoned in on the present moment. A sliver of moonlight illuminated what seemed to be a sparsely furnished bedroom. The bed was hard under his body, but the blanket covering him was soft and cool. He realized that he was lying on his side… </p><p>There was another sensation, he felt as he started to wake up more quickly, of a body behind his, pressed against his back. A weight held him down, thrown around him--an arm. <em> Toph. </em></p><p>She was <em> holding him. </em></p><p>Sokka let out a long, deep breath, evicting toxic air from his lungs that seemed to have collected over the years and made its home in them. His body sagged in her embrace, and his eyes fluttered shut. </p><p>It distinctly occurred to him that he should move. Ignoring the fleeting flutters in his stomach and leaps of his heart that Toph sometimes inspired in him was a child's game he could no longer play. If three years of marriage and countless extramarital affairs had taught him anything, it was that in the battlefield of love and romance, a man had to treat his cards with mastery and painstaking care: There was no room to live in denial. Looking back at their friendship, the little moments when he'd caught himself looking at her a second too long, their almost-kiss, Sokka couldn't say whether there had been any real feelings there or if it had been nothing more than hormonal attraction, but he couldn't and wouldn't deny that there was <em> something </em> there, even after three years apart from her. Even after what had happened at his wedding. He was in no position to lie in her arms, feel her hand on his chest, and allow this foggy confusion to enter their friendship. He knew he should move. </p><p>But he was <em> just so tired. </em></p><p>Toph shifted behind him, like she could hear his restlessness, which in a way, he supposed she could. “I can feel you’re up,” she mumbled into the back of his neck, making his skin tingle. <em> Shit. </em> </p><p>“So’re you,” he breathed, as though speaking any louder would fracture the delicate air around them. </p><p>"Hmph." Even sleepy, she sounded grouchy. Sokka's heart skipped a beat. <em> Shit... </em> "You were having a nightmare." </p><p>It took all his will to keep his voice steady when he said, "I was?" </p><p>"Mhmm. You want to talk about it?" </p><p>"No," he said honestly. Even if he could remember his dream, the last thing he wanted to do was discuss what had probably been an embarrassing display of whimpering and shaking on his part. </p><p>"Hmm." With a yawn, Toph pulled away from him and rolled back to the other side of the bed, stretching out and settling sleepily. "Talk tomorrow, then."</p><p>Sokka felt the loss, the emptiness instantly. A thousand questions assaulted his mind. Had she held him only to comfort him in his sleep? Was it no more than a friendly gesture? Could her feelings possibly have remained strong after three years apart from him? Thoughts morphed into memories as sleep darted away from him. </p><p>
  <em> “You can’t do this.”  </em>
</p><p><em> “You’re great with weddings, aren’t you?” His remark was good-natured on the surface, but he didn’t doubt Toph could hear the salt under it. She bit her lip, clearly stung, but Sokka didn’t relent. “Nobody has seen or heard from you in six months, Toph. It’s not fair for you to show up on my </em> wedding day <em> no less--” </em></p><p>
  <em> “You shouldn’t do this, Sokka!”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “--and tell me what I should or shouldn’t do!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Cheeks flushed red, fists clenched at her sides, Toph looked like she was ready to deck him. “Why are you doing this? I know everybody disapproves.” She practically spat the venomous words in his face.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sokka stood his ground. “Because I love her,” he said, and when Toph scoffed, “It’s not my fault none of you can accept her, but I’m not going to wait around for everyone forever.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “She’s not good for you. You’re making a mistake,” said Toph emphatically. This time, the anger and aggression so prominent in her bones took a backseat, and she appealed to him earnestly, with worry, even sadness.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> For a moment, he was taken aback, softened. His mind was tired. His body was tired. Too much noise from Katara, from Rayna, and now from Toph… the words spilled from his mouth before his brain could take a look, “What’s your problem? I thought your sad little crush on me was just a little girly thing, but I guess not.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sour, rancid regret flooded his senses instantly.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> One thing particularly exclusive to Toph was her ability to look casually unfazed under nearly any circumstance, and this was no exception. A few seconds of silence passed, where Sokka would have gladly taken death by any means.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Then, so neutrally that she may have been discussing the weather, “I don’t know what I ever saw in you. You’re just a boy who never got over his dead girlfriend.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Without another word, she turned on her heel and left him with his heart shattered on the floor next to hers. </em>
</p><p>An owl hooted outside. Sokka took a deep breath and rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling, wishing he could go back… but what could he do? None of it could be traced back to a sole mistake; the mess that was his life was too intricate to attribute to a single source. </p><p>He didn’t know when sleep took him again, but he woke to the scent of tea.  </p><p>Something strong, remedial, an antidote to a vile poison that had infected his bloodstream for years. </p><p>Sokka opened his bleary eyes, blinking against the morning sunlight flooding the bedroom. With a throaty groan, he stretched under the covers, aches that had become all too familiar over time throbbing dully. Then he heard shuffling and clinking of glass a few feet away from him, and he sat up instantly, ignoring the pounding in his skull to address whatever threat was nearby.</p><p>“Morning, Snoozles.” </p><p><em> Relief. </em> “Oh it’s you,” Sokka sighed. </p><p>“Wow, you sound so thrilled.” </p><p>He offered her a sheepish smile. The windows had been thrown open, letting the sparse furniture bask in the sunlight, gentle breeze kissing his skin like it was healing him. </p><p>At a table by the window, Toph finished fixing tea and brought it to Sokka, whose heart sputtered upon seeing her in the morning light. Her hair was tied differently than usual, in a bun at the nape of her neck, loose strands framing her face, which looked… different, somehow. Older, sharper in its features, but also hollower, more tired. He must not have noticed when he'd seen her on the evening of his birthday. The breeze pushed and pulled her simple brown robe like the tides, reminding him of home, of childhood, of precious innocence stolen by a hundred-year war. He took the cup from her, and she perched herself next to him on the edge of the bed, feet planted on the floor as always. </p><p>“Thanks,” he said, for more than just the tea. </p><p>“Anytime,” she said, for more than just the tea. </p><p>He drank, and they sat together in the loaded silence. The bitter taste of the previous day spoiled what he was sure was excellent tea.</p><p>So it had finally happened. The volatile history of his marriage was something Sokka had kept and had intended to keep entirely private from his family. The mere thought of Katara's reaction if she ever learned of it sent shivers down his spine. How could he expect them to understand it? How could they, Katara and Aang, lovebirds since they were so pure and innocent, still drifting in their clouds of romance? They were the lucky ones, blessed to share a love precious few ever got to experience--one that both burned <em> and </em> lasted. From time to time, Sokka thought it might be an avatar thing, some spirity magic he would never know.  </p><p>Otherwise, it had always been simple to him: Love was not easy. Love was a journey, a lifelong walk towards an ultimate triumph with a chosen partner. Rayna was his, and he was hers, and they were making the rocky journey together. He wouldn’t deny that they were struggling, but hard work and time on their marriage had rewarded them with slow, small successes. Sokka had faith in them, in <em> himself. </em> </p><p>Sokka had played it out in his head--what would happen, what he would say if Katara were to ever come to know how difficult it was. But with Toph in front of him, waiting, her usual unnerving, neutral expression on her face, the rehearsed words felt stale on his tongue. He felt a little like he’d forgotten his weapons on his way into battle, and was now standing alone before an army, empty-handed. </p><p>“Look,” he tried anyway, “it’s not what you think it is.”</p><p>“What is it then?” she said. </p><p>“I--what?” </p><p>“What is it?” </p><p>Sokka saw the white flag in his own stunned silence as though he were watching from the outside. From that vantage point, he could laugh at himself. Years of standing tall and firm, a mountain against the violent windstorms railing against it, and a simple, open-ended question was the sword that cut him down. </p><p>He had been mistaken. What had looked like impassive neutrality in the lines of Toph’s face was just a baby step away, but that was all the distance it needed to make the difference--it was support, a lack of judgement, <em> safety. </em></p><p>The air in the room grew light and free. Weights heavier than lion turtles lifted themselves off his chest. </p><p>He’d forgotten what this felt like. With constant pressure on him from all angles, Sokka had forgotten what it was to be granted this type of freedom, this safe space. Gaze fixed on Toph, on her unseeing green eyes and the way her head was just slightly bowed, as usual, he started talking. </p><p>“I don’t know what happened,” he confessed. “I’m in this so deep, Toph. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m trying, but I don’t know what I’m doing.” </p><p>She nodded, listening, and again, the unfamiliar sense of safety made his heart clench. </p><p>“You were right,” he continued. “You were right about everything you said at--at my wedding. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I said.” He raised the teacup to his lips and drained it, mostly to avoid crying. </p><p>“I get it,” said Toph. Gently, she punched his side, and he smiled. </p><p>What did this mean? Though none of these thoughts were new, they had never been spoken, or perhaps even explicitly thought. It was a rare occurrence, but there had been a fight or two where Sokka had threatened to leave Rayna. He wondered now if he had ever truly meant it. </p><p>Toph surprised him by piping up, “You know what I’ve always liked about you, Sokka?” </p><p>“My witty sense of humor?” </p><p>“Other than that,” she said dryly. </p><p>It was the look on her face, so funny and so <em> charming</em>, that he was suddenly possessed by an old, familiar energy. He grinned, teasing. “My undeniable good looks?”</p><p>“<em>No </em>, I--”</p><p>“My unchallenged ability to read a map? My ability to read at all?”</p><p>She punched his side, hard this time, and he snickered. </p><p>“I’ll tell Katara about this.” </p><p>Sokka itched to tease her further, but his fear of Katara finding out was a real one and he wouldn’t put it past Toph to tell, so he forfeited. “What?”</p><p>“You’re strong,” she said, honestly, he could tell by the way her eyes and mouth relaxed. “You get through everything. You get everyone through everything. During the war, and then after, building the city, and the republic. I’ve never believed in anyone as much as I believe in you.” </p><p>Sokka’s breath caught. The touching sentiment prompted him to reach out and take Toph’s hand in his. He found himself surprised by how soft it was. </p><p>Something shifted in Toph’s face. Head still bowed, she said, “There’s something I want to tell you.” </p><p>“Sure,” he said. “Anything. What is it?” </p><p>
  <em> BANG-BANG-BANG! </em>
</p><p>Sokka looked around at the urgent knocking, but from Toph’s sour expression he already knew who was on the other side. </p><p>“Sorry,” he said ruefully. “I just… I’ll just go and…” Truthfully, he didn’t know what he would do or how, but he knew he had to deal with what was currently trying to break down Toph’s front door. </p><p>
  <em> BANG-BANG-BANG! </em>
</p><p>“It’s okay,” said Toph, taking her hand out of his. “Do what you need to do. I’ll wait.” </p><p>“Okay.” Hesitating, Sokka climbed out of the bed, distantly noticing the aches from the bruises he’d acquired but hadn’t yet looked at. The walk to the front door felt like it was over a mile long. Every step brought a new thought, an old memory, a sore regret. He thought his heart should be racing, but it felt still, almost as though it wasn’t beating at all. </p><p>Sokka opened the door, and there stood Rayna, flushed and out of breath, with tears streaming down her cheeks and wild hair. His chest clenched at the sight, but he didn’t feel the usual urge to wrap his arms around her. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” she choked through her tears, wiping her face frantically, but unable to stem the flow. “Please. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“Rayna. Rayna, calm down.” The strong, soothing voice took over, the one he always put on with her when she emerged, repentant, in the aftermath of a fight. His shoulders straightened out of habit. He glanced over his shoulder, relieved to find that Toph had stayed in the bedroom, and stepped outside, shutting the door behind him. </p><p>“I wanted-I wanted to stay home and give-give you space. But I-I got so scared,” she sobbed. She looked up at him through wet eyelashes, pain and fear evident in her golden eyes, and for a moment, she seemed like she was about to reach out to him, to hug him. But then she didn’t. Her hands fell to her sides, and she dropped her gaze. “Please, Sokka.” </p><p>“I’m--I--” He didn’t know what to say. His mind floundered in a sea of thoughts. “I can’t--Rayna, I can't--”</p><p>Rayna’s eyes shot up to meet his again, wide and panicked. “What?” </p><p>The words were on the tip of Sokka’s tongue. </p><p>In his silence, she continued tearfully, “I <em> need </em> you. I’m-I’m sorry about yesterday. I’m sorry about all of it. I always am.” The bitterness, the self-loathing ate at his heart. “But you’ve done so much for me, and I’m...I’m getting there. <em> We’re </em> getting there. You get me there.” </p><p><em> You stand by her side. You get everyone through everything. </em> </p><p>He couldn’t do it. No matter how badly wanted out--and he wanted it <em> so badly </em>--it would destroy the woman in front of him. And what kind of a man would he be if he did that to someone, anyone, let alone his wife? </p><p>“You’re so good to me, Sokka,” she whispered. “I’ve never known anybody like you.” </p><p>He shut his eyes. </p><p>“Look at me.” </p><p>He opened them. Rayna was still crying, helplessly, lost, so lost without him. </p><p>“I love you,” said. “Please.” </p><p>“I love you too,” he said back, automatically, his heart throbbing. </p><p>“<em>Please.” </em></p><p>Like a river drying, his stress and exhaustion seeped back into their boxes. This was his <em> wife</em>, standing before him, begging forgiveness. <em>You get everyone through everything. </em>He closed the distance between them and took her into his arms. He held her as she cried into his clothes. </p><p>“It’s okay,” he murmured into her hair. “We-we can get through this.” </p><p>“I love you,” she mumbled. “Please don’t do that again.” </p><p>He sighed, hugging her tightly. “I won’t.” </p><p>---</p><p>Gold Needles park hadn’t been there when she’d left. Toph had felt the sweet little haven when she’d docked on the Republic City shore--she’d felt the whole city. Due to the hard, grueling effort she’d spent honing her earthbending so finely, she suspected her seismic sense radius must have quadrupled. She could sense <em> everything</em>. </p><p>Granted, it had been a lot easier to manage that sensory information in the isolated hideout she’d made for herself. Back in the city, where people bumped shoulders in the market square and feet pitter-pattered in all kinds of directions all day long, it had taken some adjustment to organize the sensations. Now, lounging casually on a park bench, feet (always) planted firmly on the ground, Toph felt the moving parts of the city beneath her toes, its heartbeat, like rhythmic, rolling waves onto a sandy shore. </p><p>Less than a hundred feet in front of her, two little earthbender kids played a game that seemed to be of their own invention with a ball of rock. Toph was tempted to join. Three miles north, at the Republic City theatre, a dance teacher held a lesson outside for eight students. The one in the very back was struggling to keep up. About half a mile west was the seedy part of town, it seemed. She could tell from the shifty shuffling of feet, the bodies grinding against each other in what were likely alleyways, and the small, huddled gatherings around a single source of attention--<em> gamblers, </em> she thought with a smirk. Without a second thought, she stood and made her way there. </p><p>Seedy bars and grungy streets always evoked in Toph the feeling of <em> adventure </em> she so dearly missed from her wartime travels with her friends. Her three-year-long isolation had given her everything, but she’d missed the thrill. And mostly, she needed something to take her mind off Sokka. </p><p>Before he had even come back into the house to stomp all over her heart, she’d known what had happened. It had taken a huge amount of will--she was a little annoyed that she couldn’t boast about it to anyone--to keep her feet on the floor and watch Sokka forgive his wife. He’d set foot back in her house for two seconds before Toph had thrown him out, which, in hindsight, probably hadn’t been the best move as his friend, or the best tactic for winning him. Toph had every intention of continuing to fight for him, but the blow had weakened her, and right now, she needed a drink. She had time, and patience was her strongest virtue. </p><p>Grungy and exhilarating, the scene was always so <em> different </em> from the life in which she’d grown up, wonderfully devoid of shiny, polished family crests and special forks with which to eat delicate dishes. Head down, Toph skulked up what felt like the main street. Shabby shops lined either side of it, with ruffians smoking and throwing back liquor next to the buildings and sleazebags jeering at women, who either hurled violent insults back at them or welcomed the attention. Toph was grateful that she was good at being invisible, because she would probably start more trouble than it was worth if one of these men were to whistle at her. She would rather be at the giving end of it anyway--Toph was proud to be an offender, an aggressor; she would never be a passive woman in her own story, much less a victim. </p><p>The door to a bar on her left slammed open and two burly men were bodily thrown out, presumably by the bartender, narrowly missing Toph. The bartender emerged in the doorway yelling, “Not in my bar!” </p><p>Even after the door shut, they were still at each other’s throats. Thoroughly entertained, Toph stepped back to watch. Some of the other passersby paused along the street as well, but most others went on their way as though this was common. From a few feet to her left, Toph heard someone mutter, “The police are going to like this.” </p><p>“That isn’t what I paid for!” the heftier of the two men growled. He threw a punch, but the smaller man grabbed his arm and deftly maneuvered him into a headlock. </p><p><em> Nothing like some cold, hard experience</em>, Toph thought, impressed by how quick-footed and smooth the smaller man was. She thought of Sokka, with pride, the best non-bender fighter she knew. </p><p>As the men wrestled, they stumbled right into Toph, who turned out to be a surprising enough obstacle that the larger man snaked his way out of the other’s grasp. All respect for the smaller man flew right out the window. </p><p>“Wow,” she snarked. “What’s the point of being able to see if you’re just going to bumble around like that and lose your upper hand?” </p><p>“What did you say?” he barked. </p><p>“You heard me.” Aang and Katara would definitely frown on this, but it had just been <em> so long </em> since she’d engaged in some simple, low-maintenance fisticuffs, she couldn’t resist. </p><p>“Hey!” the bigger man shouted, rounding on them. “I want to get what I paid for!” </p><p>Toph flicked her hand. The ground underneath him shot up and sent him flying fifty feet backwards, where he landed flat on his back. A stir rippled through the passersby who had gathered around them--some excited, some nervous. </p><p>The smaller man squared up and faced Toph. “I’m not the one you want to mess with, little girl,” he said, and spat on the ground. “I’m wanted in two nations.” </p><p>“By who?” she scoffed, and made a show of spitting so far that her spittle landed in a bucket lying outside the bar. </p><p>He started towards her, but before he could make any offensive move, Toph felt an aggressive pounding of footsteps coming towards them, like a thunderstorm on the ground. Suddenly, about eight new people were on the scene, breaking through the crowd and sending people scurrying away. Instinctively, Toph slinked back into an alleyway and kept her senses perked. </p><p>“You’re under arrest for selling and distributing illicit goods!” a female voice was shouting. “Under the good law of Republic City and the United Republic of Nations!” </p><p>The surprise guests--police officers, Toph realized--apprehended the two men and, to her confusion, two other people who had been idling outside the bar. </p><p>Seismic sense or intuition crept over her in the distinct feeling that <em> something </em> was wrong. It was a feeling she’d had years before, when she’d been tasked with gathering information on a grisly murder, and had stumbled into an affair between Zuko and his head of security, whatserface. But she’d been wrong about her initial suspicion, that the head of security had been involved somehow in the murder. </p><p>Quickly, Toph shoved that embarrassing memory aside and, when the coast was clear, snuck away from the shady street. There was no need to pursue this type of hunch that had led her to humiliation once before. Still, she couldn’t stop herself from digging her heel into the ground and taking one last look at the street. </p><p>---</p><p>“That concludes the ceremony,” said Councilman Whatever His Name Was, The One From the Earth Kingdom Who No One Liked. “Thank you all, and may the United Republic of Nations always be in good hands.” </p><p>Toph scoffed openly. </p><p>“Toph,” Aang admonished from next to her. She didn’t care.</p><p>From what she’d learned in her short time back in Republic City, the councilman was all talk, unpopular, and the odds were high that a new one would be elected this year. And from what she could deduce from this evening only, he seemed to have earned the reputation. During the ceremony, while the politicians and leaders announced their candidacy, Toph had felt Councilman What’s His Name’s heart beating erratically--the sign of a liar and fraud--and <em> especially </em> when Sokka had stepped up to the center to booming applause. </p><p>The council members in general were obviously intimidated by Sokka, <em> and they should be, </em> she thought proudly. Toph suspected she was the only one who could sense their subtle shuffling of feet and shifts in stance. <em> Ha ha. </em></p><p>She was definitely still livid with him, and if the night went on for much longer, Twinkletoes would have to hold her back from earth-punting Rayna across the room. </p><p><em> But</em>, she absolutely could not deny that Sokka had looked <em> oh so good </em> up on that stage. </p><p>Of course, Toph couldn’t <em> see </em> him, but boy oh boy could she <em> sense </em> him. She’d felt his musculature in the way he moved, his confidence in how he took up the space, his clever charm in the light way his feet hit the ground. Underneath the anger and the hurt, the wanting bloomed stronger and brighter than she’d ever thought it could. It was stupid, yes, how badly she wanted him, to touch him and <em> hold </em> him again as she had a week ago, but she did, and that was that. The <em> wanting </em> energy inside her burned, made her itch with potential energy, but she was a master of neutral jing, and so she would wait for the right moment. </p><p>“I will now cordially invite all of you into the ballroom for drinks and refreshments!” the councilman called out, and the crowd ambled towards her right. </p><p>“What do you think they’re serving? I hope they have vegetarian food. I always tell them to, but they forget.” said Aang as they followed the crowd.</p><p>Toph kept half her gaze focused on Sokka, who was heading in the same direction from the front of the hall, with the council and candidates. </p><p>“Sokka was great, wasn’t he?” said Katara.</p><p>“Definitely was,” Rayna all but gushed. </p><p>“Are you surprised?” Toph snapped. </p><p>“What? No, why would you think that?” said Katara. </p><p>Zuko, who no one had expected to attend, loudly coughed. “Why don’t we dance, Toph?” Without pausing to acknowledge Katara’s response, he whisked Toph away to what she assumed was the dance floor, judging by the dancing feet around them. </p><p>“What do you think you’re doing?” she griped. “I can handle myself.” </p><p>“You can, but Sokka’s wife probably can’t handle you.” </p><p>“And that’s how it should be.” </p><p>She and Zuko danced smoothly and skillfully, their high-born patronage showing. Across the ballroom, she felt Sokka approach his wife and playfully bow with his hand outstretched, asking for a dance. Toph’s scowl deepened, if that were possible. </p><p>“Stop it,” said Zuko. “You’re making it obvious.”</p><p>“Says you,” she shot back. “They should call you the Drama Lord.”</p><p>“Toph!”</p><p>“And anyway,” she continued, “why’d you get me dressed all sexy if I wasn’t supposed to make it obvious?” </p><p>“I’m beginning to regret helping you at all.” </p><p>“Liar.” </p><p>“You didn’t even thank me,” Zuko grumbled. “I’m the Fire Lord. I have better things to do than help you impress Sokka.” </p><p>“I’m not trying to <em> impress </em> him.”</p><p>“Oh really? Then what are you wearing?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” she said, mock innocently. “I’m blind.” </p><p>“Well, you look sexy.” The statement was, by definition, a compliment, but Zuko could not have sounded more angry about it. “He’s been trying not to look at you all night.”</p><p>“Really?” Toph bit down on the genuine curiosity too late, cursing her heart for betraying her real emotions in that moment. She could feel Zuko smirk, and she resented him deeply for it. </p><p>“Why are you even arguing with me on this? It’s not like you’re in denial about your feelings.” </p><p>“Arguing is the only thing I know how to do,” she said, and Zuko groaned as though he were in literal pain. </p><p>They danced closer to Sokka and Rayna, and when the song ended, Rayna pulled away from him and headed back to their table. Toph sensed the tightness in their bodies, the quickened pace of their heartbeats, the tension in Sokka’s shoulders. Something was wrong. </p><p>Zuko, of course, was oblivious as ever. “Go dance with him,” he said, stepping back, but before Toph could even turn towards Sokka, another woman stepped into his space and took hold of him, leading him in their dance steps. </p><p>“Uh, hello,” Toph heard Sokka say. “You’re, uh…”</p><p>“Yijun,” said the woman. The click-clacking of her heels annoyed Toph; it felt as though someone were constantly poking her in the eye, clouding her seismic sense.</p><p>“Right,” said Sokka. “Candidate from--”</p><p>“The Earth Kingdom.” The woman--Yijun--had a sultry, powerful voice. Toph remembered her from the ceremony: She had caused some murmurs in the audience and garnered the highest applause out of any of the other Earth Kingdom candidates. Councilman What’s His Name had been nervous around her too. </p><p>“What are you doing?” said Zuko, nudging her. “Go!” </p><p>“All right, all right!” Toph started forward, clamping down on the embarrassing pit of nerves that erupted in her stomach. </p><p>“Wait!” said Zuko.</p><p>“What?” </p><p>“You’re--hang on.” He straightened the fabric around her shoulders and smoothed down the back of her hair. It would be touching, if Toph ever felt touched. </p><p>“Hurry up,” she grumbled. </p><p>“Okay. Go ahead. Go.” </p><p>With a deep breath, Toph strode down the room and stopped in front of Sokka and this Yijun lady right as the song ended. “Can I cut in?” she said politely. </p><p>Yijun stepped back and sauntered away, the click-clacking of her heels irritating Toph the whole way.</p><p>“Hey,” said Sokka. He sounded nervous, and Toph knew from his heartbeat that Zuko had been right. She must look good. </p><p>Toph slipped her hand in his and placed the other hand on his chest--she didn’t want to have to reach into the sky to put it on his shoulder. Sokka hesitated for only the slightest moment before taking her waist. </p><p>“Listen, I… I’m sorry about the--I want you to understand,” said Sokka. </p><p>“You’re crazy,” she said plainly. </p><p>“Toph, please--”</p><p>“But I’m still your friend.” She squeezed his hand. </p><p>And then she felt his breath catch. Toph Beifong, master of neutral jing, knew how to recognize the right moment to strike, and this was it. Sokka’s heart was racing for her, and hers for him, and it was time to jump. </p><p>“Let’s go somewhere private,” she said suddenly. </p><p>“What?” </p><p>“I didn’t get to tell you,” she said. “I didn’t get to tell you what I wanted to.” </p><p>“Uh…”</p><p>“Let’s go,” she urged. </p><p>“Okay! Okay.” </p><p>Toph’s hand tingled with the urge to grab Sokka’s as she led them outside through a side door. She felt Sokka constantly looking over his shoulder, presumably to check if Rayna was watching them leave. <em>Whatever.</em></p><p>Outside, in the garbage alley, the quiet air allowed them to fill it with their charged energy, Toph’s confession ready to burst. </p><p>“What’s going on?” Sokka said as the door swung shut behind them. </p><p>“I told you at your wedding.” Toph realized she was breathless. “You’re making a mistake. You made one then and you’re making one now.” </p><p>“Toph,” said Sokka, straightening up. “I don’t need to hear this.” </p><p>“Come on, Sokka!” She threw her hands up in the air and stamped her foot, causing earth dust to rise at their feet. Sokka took a step back. “Why are we playing around?” </p><p>“I--I don’t--” </p><p>“Stop that. Don’t stutter when we’re talking about this.” Trembling with nerves, and something else, Toph stepped forward, into his space, leaving only a breath between them. Sokka, to her triumph, didn’t step back. </p><p>A long moment of silence passed. Then he spoke. </p><p>“Toph,” he said, and instantly, she knew he felt the same way. “It’s not that simple.” </p><p>“It is.” Another step forward, and this time he moved back, and again, until she had him backed up against the alley wall. She brought her hand up and rested it on his chest. “I can feel your heartbeat skipping,” she murmured.</p><p>“You can do that without touching me.” She was impressed he’d managed not to stutter.</p><p>“Okay, so do you want me to stop touching you?” </p><p>“Toph,” he said weakly.</p><p>“Do you?” </p><p>Silence. Then--</p><p>“No,” he whispered, and then they were kissing, Toph’s body pressed up against his, Sokka’s arms wrapped tightly around her, snaking up her back, into her hair. His mouth was soft, sweet like the wine she guessed he’d been drinking. He smelled of wood and fresh flowers and muddy water, like a creek trickling through a forest clearing. She sighed into his mouth and he pulled her tighter to him, inviting a host of gross butterflies to come settle in her stomach. Toph realized with a jolt that she was living her teenage fantasy, and an embarrassing giggle burst from her lips without her consent--and then abruptly, as if he’d been struck by lightning, Sokka jumped away from her. </p><p>She stumbled a little to catch her footing, thrown completely by his reaction. “What? What happened?” </p><p>“I-I’m sorry,” he said, breathless. “I can’t do this, Toph. I-I shouldn’t have--I’m sorry.” </p><p>Before she could reply, he took off through the door and back into the ballroom, leaving Toph to lie in the humiliating, heart-wrenching sensation of being <em> wrong </em> once again. </p><p>---</p><p>Sokka didn’t care what Toph said about his marriage. <em> This </em> had been his worst ever mistake. With the impending election, he had sworn to himself that he would stop the affairs, be loyal and strong in his marriage, keep from doing anything that his opponents--he couldn’t believe he had opponents now--could use against him. And on the very night he’d announced his candidacy, he was out in the back alley, making out with his best friend. Maybe, he thought bitterly as he chatted up various citizens of high class at the party, Rayna had been right all those times she’d called him a male floozy. Maybe all it took was a beautiful woman in front of him--and she had looked beautiful indeed--and his brain flew out the window. Shame filled him as he thought of his father, and what he would say if he knew how he had just treated Toph, how he was treating his <em> wife </em>. </p><p>But underneath these surface emotions, the reflexive guilt and the self-admonishment, lay a deeper truth. Sokka was not happy, and his affairs were his only release. These women were just warm bodies in sinful bedsheets, and he could not <em> bear </em>to add Toph to that roster. That was a level to which he refused to stoop again. When he saw her reenter the ballroom, looking impassive as ever, watched her approach Zuko, who placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, Sokka beat his guilt down viciously and looked away. This was the right thing to do. </p><p>This was his life. It was time to get back to living it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oops! So close, yet so far. </p><p>Thanks everyone for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Bombs and Letters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Things have to get worse before they can get better.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! My sincerest apologies for this chapter taking FOREVER to post. Life happened, and the material is pretty exhausting to write, but I will do my best to update more regularly from here. </p><p>Content warning: Discussions of abuse/domestic violence.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 10</strong>
</p><p>
  <em> Sokka,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sorry for the other night. Since I've been back, we haven't had a chance to actually catch up.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Meet me at the theater at the fourth hour past midday.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Toph </em>
</p><p>Sokka had read the letter--in Zuko's handwriting, he noted, which meant Toph could have confided in him, though it was also likely that she had bullied Zuko into penning her words without any explanation--about twenty times in sheer disbelief since receiving it that morning by messenger hawk. He wouldn't have deserved her forgiveness, let alone an apology <em> from </em> her. </p><p>"Who's it from?" Rayna poked her head into their bedroom, where he'd stolen away to read it.</p><p>"Katara," he lied smoothly, folding it up. </p><p>"Hm." She pursed her lips. </p><p>"Aang needs me at the island. Election stuff." How ironic it was that the Republic City council election had now provided him with such a marvelous excuse to leave the house for hours at a time to pursue his affairs, but it was because of the election that he could no longer engage in them. </p><p>"You're never at home anymore, Sokka." She leaned against the doorjamb and crossed her arms over her chest. </p><p>"I'm sorry, honey." He wasn't sure if he was.  </p><p>Sokka stood and tucked the letter into a pocket inside his tunic, noticing Rayna's eyes follow the movement. Three weeks ago, she might have demanded to see it, but now, she dropped her gaze and sighed. </p><p>"You're right. I know it's important to you," she conceded with an honest half-smile. </p><p>Three weeks ago, the gesture would have warmed him like sea prune stew in the winter, but for the first time since marrying her, Sokka was struggling to fit one pesky emotion back into its box: Misery. Since he'd spoken it aloud to Toph, it lingered over his every move in this house, in Rayna's presence. Even smiling back at her took a considerable amount of willpower. </p><p>"I'll see you when I get home, okay?" Sokka strode forward and kissed her cheek, intending to leave it at that, but Rayna pulled him into a hug. She held him hard, like she was trying to fuse their bodies, become one with him. </p><p>Releasing a breath, he hugged her back, consumed by an outpour of thoughts. </p><p>In his life, Sokka had battled armies of benders. He'd invented weapons of war, devised battle strategies that had saved the world. He'd build this city, this fifth nation, <em> for fuck's sake. </em> Why, then, was it <em> so damn tiring </em> to be strong for this woman who so badly needed him? </p><p>"I'm sorry," he said again, and this time he meant it. </p><p>He felt her smile, but it didn't make him feel any better. "What are you gonna do while I'm gone?" he said, pulling away and heading for the door, hand in hand with his wife, trying to find some semblance of the marriage they'd once had, of the man he used to be. </p><p>“Probably just some cleaning. Lots of junk in the house we need to get rid of.” </p><p>“Yeah… I am kinda the master of clutter.” He offered her a sheepish grin. </p><p>“Well… I didn’t want to say it to your face,” she teased. </p><p>It was sweet, but it was sugar on spoiled tea, not good enough to hide the memories of all the fights they’d had over his messes. The shackles of misery tugged Sokka down further. </p><p>“I’ll see you when I get home.”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>“I love you too.” </p><p>Even when he arrived at the theater, early at that, Sokka felt a need to put more distance between himself and his house. Anger. Exhaustion. Bitterness. He just couldn’t seem to keep the boxes closed. </p><p>The Republic City theater was built right at the edge of the city’s huge marketplace, across the street from Blue Poppy Tavern, and it was a busy afternoon. Sokka’s senses felt hyperfocused, like he was in battle, and the background noise pricked his skin like salt on a rash. He waited for Toph by the theater's ornate stairway, but the crowd of overly enthusiastic theater-goers was only adding pressure to the walls he was trying to escape. With a huff, he kicked the dirt under his feet, causing dust to promptly fly into his eyes. </p><p>“Aghh!” he cried out, rubbing his eyes frantically. “Stupid, stupid dirt!” It would be his first act as councilman, he decided grumpily, to reconstruct all the roads and banish every last speck of dirt from Republic City. </p><p>“Now seating for <em> Love Amongst the Dragons!” </em> came a cry from the theater doors, and suddenly he was being jostled from all sides by excited fans. </p><p>“This is my second time seeing it!” someone squealed. </p><p>“I know! Bohai is <em> so gorgeous </em> as the Dragon Emperor,” another gushed. </p><p>They were so <em> annoying! </em> What a ridiculous, stupid town. And when had the theater become so popular anyway?! <em> Stupid theater </em>. It’d be his second act as councilman to get it torn down as violently as he could. </p><p>Anger bubbling in his gut, eyes still running, Sokka finally managed to escape the crowd--probably because they all went inside, but he needed a win, so he told himself he maneuvered his way out--and found himself standing smack in the middle of the dirt road.  </p><p>City-dwellers were going about their afternoon business on either side of the street, but Sokka felt a never-ending abyss between him and the rest of the world. He thought he might scream, but that his voice would only dissolve in the chasm before it could reach the people on the sides of the street. Looking around, perhaps for a way out, he saw a greenish figure in the distance, heading down the street toward him. </p><p>It should have made him happy, or at the very least, relieved. But it didn’t. </p><p>For a split second, he imagined standing there, waiting for her to come closer into view, so he could see the shape of her arms underneath the green tunic, feel the wonderfully aggressive energy that always emanated from her scowl. He would smile, and if he was feeling daring, sling an arm over her shoulders. They would stroll through the market, invisible in the crowd, their bodies charged by the intimacy. They would eat, drink, and laugh. At night, they would find themselves at the bay, under the sparkling moonlight, and whisper their regrets. And maybe, just maybe…</p><p>The stupid, <em> fucking </em> fantasy made him <em> so furious </em> he must have screamed. If the rage, the flames that licked every cell in his body was real, he <em> must </em> have been screaming so loudly that it shattered the very ground beneath the market, creating chasms in the earth, swallowing all of these fucking worthless people into the boiling, murderous lava inside it. </p><p>But he wasn’t. And it didn’t. </p><p>The gentle buzz of the market-goers slowly seeped back into his senses. Wind brushed his skin, and air filled his lungs. </p><p>Sokka tore his eyes away from the green figure still in the distance. He swallowed the violent dryness in his throat, turned on his heel, and left. </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> BANG! BANG! BANG! </em>
</p><p>If he didn’t answer, Toph would break down the door. No, she would plant her feet and crumble his whole house into itty bitty gravel that cowered at her feet. Even hours later, her heart plummeted at the memory--Sokka’s stride, unmistakable even with the movement of the Republic City market all around, turning around and walking away. </p><p>
  <em> BANG! BANG! BANG! </em>
</p><p>Maybe she’d timed it wrong. Maybe she’d gotten carried away, rushed an important moment. But Toph had been listening to the earth, listening to their heartbeats in tune with its steady motion, and the earth never lied. The moment had been right, she was certain as a badgermole was of his next step, but the fault lay in her execution. Or Sokka just wasn’t ready to accept the truth that stood plainly between them--and because he’d stood her up, walked away, <em> insulted </em> her as if she wouldn’t <em> see him leave, </em> Toph was more inclined to blame it all on him. </p><p>She’d come home after three-and-a-half years to fight for him, and Toph never lost a fight. If Sokka wanted to stand opposite her in the ring, well, that was on him. </p><p>
  <em> BANG! BANG! B-- </em>
</p><p>The door swung open. Toph did her best to not appear as taken aback as she was--in her passionate fire she’d forgotten to listen. With a huff, she planted her feet and glared at the idiot before her.</p><p>“I--” he tried. </p><p>“What’s your problem?!”</p><p>“Toph, I’m sorry--”</p><p>“You won’t see me anymore because your wife’s a bitch?” </p><p>“Toph!” he said, hastily looking around. </p><p>“What?” said Toph, crossing her arms over her chest. “She’s not home. I can sense it. Just like I could sense you walking away.” </p><p>Sokka took a deep breath. “Toph, I can’t--”</p><p>“Why not?” </p><p>“Because--”</p><p>“Oh, come on!” she shouted. “Don’t give me whatever pathetic excuse is about to come out of your mouth. I love you!” </p><p>The confession, or rather, declaration, stopped them both in their tracks, but Toph chugged right past it like it was a pebble in her path. </p><p>“I <em> know </em> you feel the same way. You and me are--” </p><p>“I don’t,” he said shortly. </p><p>This was a little more than just a pebble. “You--what?”</p><p>“I don’t,” he repeated. “I don’t feel the same way. I’m sorry.” </p><p>“I--you’re lying,” she said instantly. </p><p>“I’m not.”</p><p>He was. He <em> was </em> … but there was something else. Sokka was lying, but he was… <em> angry. </em></p><p>“This isn’t a game, Toph!” he all but spat, “I have a life and a career to worry about. And if it all goes right, I’ll have a city, a <em> nation </em> to worry about. But all you care about is your stupid little crush. When are you gonna grow up, Toph?”</p><p>It would have cut deeper a few years ago, but Toph had spent that time buried in sweet, strong earth, and now she felt as though her heart, bones, and fury were made of that very material, ready to throw a punch that would knock him to the ground. </p><p>“You’ll wish you never said that.” </p><p>Toph whirled around and stormed away, barely paying attention to Sokka’s door closing, letting the tornado of movement that was Republic City blend with her anger and overwhelm her. </p><p>She’d meant what she’d said. He would regret this. She didn’t know how, or when, but the earth would answer those questions. All Toph had to do was wait.  </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "Dearest Toph--" </em>
</p><p>"Pfft." </p><p>"Toph," said Katara reproachfully.</p><p>"What? I don't need the 'dearest' bullshit, she can just get to the point." </p><p>"It's your mom, Toph."</p><p>"And?" </p><p>"Whatever," Katara huffed. "Should I keep reading?"</p><p>"Best idea you've had all day." Sweetness's sweetness didn't fool Toph. She was probably going to re-read that 'dearest' just to get under Toph's skin. </p><p><em> "Dearest Toph--" </em> </p><p>
  <em> Yup. </em>
</p><p>"<em> --I'm sorry it has taken me so long to write. I hope you have someone who will read this to you. I've been in Republic City for two days-- </em>"</p><p>"Wait, what?" Toph sat up instantly. </p><p>"<em> --and I would like to meet you. </em> Toph, wow. This is so--"</p><p>"Keep reading," she snapped. </p><p>It spoke to how monumental this news was that Katara didn’t utter a single under-the-breath grumble before continuing, <em> "Your father is not here with me. There are things I need to tell you." </em> Katara hid the awkwardness in her voice well, but Toph still heard it in her heartbeat. </p><p><em> "Please write back to me to let me know when and where we can meet. I hope to see you soon. Love, Poppy. </em> Toph!" Katara slammed the letter down on the table, making their tea cups rattle, threatening to spill. </p><p>"Watch it!" said Toph, mind reeling. </p><p>Katara ignored her. "Let's write her back. You can meet her tomorrow."</p><p>"Wait," said Toph. </p><p>"What do you mean, 'wait?' She's already been in the city for two days! Don't you want to meet her?" </p><p>The truth was, Toph didn't have an answer. It'd been years since she'd seen or even corresponded with her parents. She'd certainly mulled it over during her years of isolation and convening with the earth, and had finally come to the sad but honest conclusion that there was no repairing a relationship that had never existed. </p><p>Who was this woman? Katara would say "family," no doubt, but Toph's only family were the people with whom she had traveled the world and fought deadly battles all those years ago. Poppy Beifong--if that even was her name anymore, could she have possibly left her father?--was not much more than a distant acquaintance. </p><p>And yet… there was something about the letter that made Toph grateful that Katara couldn't sense heartbeats. </p><p>"Toph," said Katara impatiently. "You're too old to act like you don't care."</p><p>"I'm not acting." Judging Katara's immediate quiet, Toph guessed, smugly, that she must have understood it was true. </p><p>"You do care," Katara insisted, because of course she did. "You wouldn't still be having this conversation with me if you didn't." </p><p>Annoyed, Toph groaned. "Why won't you ever just let things go?" </p><p>"Because I'm a really good friend." </p><p>"I don't know who told you that, but I’d like to give them a--" </p><p>"Ugh, could you just quit it with the sarcasm for once, Toph? Take this seriously." </p><p>"Why should I?" Toph demanded. "It's not like she ever took me seriously." </p><p>"Is that what's bothering you?" Katara asked, and Toph begrudgingly gave her credit for asking gently despite her own hostile attitude. </p><p>"No," she confessed. "It's not." Which was true. So what <em> was </em> bothering her? </p><p>"You know, since you came back, I've seen you a lot. But we never talk about those three-and-a-half years," said Katara. </p><p>"What did you say?" said Toph quietly. </p><p>"Uh, when you left? You were gone for--"</p><p>"You counted the half."</p><p>"What?" </p><p>"Whenever Zuko or Aang or Sokka mention it, they say 'three years.' That I was gone for three years," said Toph. </p><p>"Well, you left six months before Sokka's wedding," said Katara. </p><p>"I know," said Toph. "You remembered." </p><p>And maybe it was that, and the silence of their friendship, that prompted Toph to continue. “It’s been more than ten years since I left home,” she said. “I don’t even know them--I mean, her anymore.”</p><p>“It sounds like you never knew her separately from your dad,” said Katara. </p><p>“I didn’t.” Thoughts like that usually made Toph angry, but this made her sad, and subsequently, irritated. “I just don’t know what the point is. I don’t hear from her for years, and now she reaches out to me? It’s not fair.” </p><p>“You’re right,” said Katara. “It’s not.” </p><p>A little more perturbed than she was willing to admit, Toph plowed on, “This is so stupid. I don’t need her! I don’t <em> want </em> her.”</p><p>“So what do you want?”</p><p>“I <em> want </em> for her to take back this letter,” Toph griped. Katara stayed quiet, and Toph cursed her to the pits of despair for it, because it made her continue, in a pathetically small voice, “I don’t want to see her.” </p><p>“I think you do,” said Katara softly. </p><p><em> But why? </em> “Why would I want to?” It was an honest question that bubbled out of Toph’s stomach and spilled itself all over her table. </p><p>“Toph, I don’t think it matters why. It only matters that you want to.” </p><p>That sounded like nonsense to Toph’s ears, and she was about to say so, but then Katara added, “I can go with you if you need someone to be there.” </p><p>On any other day, Katara would have to kill her before she admitted how much she loved and needed her, but today, the words in the letter were ringing too loudly in her ears.</p><p>“Okay,” she said. “Thanks.”</p><p>Gently and warmly in a way only Katara could, she placed her hand on Toph’s shoulder, and perhaps one day, Toph would regret the next words that came out of her mouth, but she allowed the earth, spite, and safety to let her say, “I’d ask Sokka but he’s probably busy getting his lights knocked out by his wife.” </p><p>Katara frowned slightly. “...What?”</p><p>Toph ignored the bitter taste in her mouth and continued, “I walked in on them fighting the other day.” </p><p>The air in the room seemed to grow dense. </p><p>“Toph,” Katara said, hushed. “Are you saying that Rayna...?” </p><p>A gentle shuffle from the other room caught Toph’s attention. “Bumi’s up,” she murmured. </p><p>“He can wait,” said Katara, insistently.</p><p>Toph cleared her throat and shifted in her seat, sitting up straighter. Might as well face it head on. “I should have told you this a long time ago. He won’t listen to me. He might listen to you.” </p><p>To Toph’s surprise, Katara sat back in her seat and said, “He won’t. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve talked to him about her. He doesn’t even hear me anymore.” </p><p>The defeat in Katara’s small voice hurt worse than Toph had expected. She’d revealed the secret impulsively, as she usually did, but it had been necessary. Though angry and vengeful she certainly was, Toph would never forget the feeling of Sokka sobbing, gasping for breath in her arms. With their hard and stubborn heads, they’d knocked their own friendship so hard it had finally cracked, but the thought that if Katara couldn’t get through to him, <em> no one could, </em> instilled in her a fear so serious it almost turned to forgiveness. Almost. </p><p>“So--” her voice cracked, “So what should we do?”</p><p>Katara sat still, for so long it felt like she was basking in Toph’s helplessness. Little Bumi even emerged from his bedroom, rubbing his eyes and reaching for his mother. </p><p>Toph watched as Katara gathered him up into her lap with comforting whispers. “You know,” said Katara thoughtfully, and a little spark of hope was lit, “Bumi’s birthday is in a few weeks.” </p><p>“Okay?” said Toph, trying her very best to contain her frustration. </p><p>With the tiniest sparkle in her voice, Katara said, “I know who can get through to him.” </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dear Dad,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It was so good to read your last letter. I wish I could see our tribe for myself. Aang is traveling there soon. In fact, when you get this letter, he’ll probably already be there. Sokka and I want to visit, but it’s a busy time with Bumi and Sokka running for council.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Politics in Republic City are nasty. Sokka would never say it, but I think some of the things the other candidates are saying about him are getting him down. Luckily, the people love him! We all really think he’ll win, and I know he'll be able to do some real good in this city and the United Republic. It's frustrating to all of us, but to Aang in particular, how corrupt the council and our institutions have become, and so quickly. Crime has been rising so fast, and the city is changing. The other day there was huge news about the police taking down a ring of earthbenders who had been burgling wealthy homes! The council has been in talks with new developers to come in and build houses and buildings made of wood and other non-bendables. It gives Aang and Sokka headaches to think about all this change. I don't know how you manage the problems of the Southern Tribe by yourself! Every day, I wish I was there to help you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’ve been well, but if I’m being honest, I’m going a little crazy at home with little Bumi. For whatever Sokka and I did to you in our terrible twos, I am so sorry! He’s turning three next month, so hopefully we’ll see you for his birthday. He says really misses you, even though I don’t think he remembers you all that clearly. I think he just misses the idea of his grandpa. He talks so much now! Everyone says he’s like Aang, but he actually reminds me more of Sokka. He’s always asking questions about why things happen or how things work. It’s cute, but I don’t know the answer to everything!  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Please let us know how Gran-Gran is doing. I miss her so much.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Send everyone at home my love and hugs! And be safe.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Love always,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Katara </em>
</p><p>As she sealed and sent the letter, Katara knew he would come. Their dad could never resist the opportunity to guide Sokka in the right direction. It was rare for her to take action in such a calculated manner, but hey, she’d picked up a thing or two from the politicians and peacemakers in her life. </p><p>Now, all she could do was contain her rage until he arrived.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p><em> “...and the truth is,” </em> he read, <em> “that I will fight for the United Republic of Nations with my blood, and serve its people--serve </em> you <em> --with my life. I will-- </em>shit, that’s not good.” </p><p>Sokka scratched a line across the chicken-scratch on the scroll in his hands. </p><p>He was pacing in his office, muttering ideas for a speech he’d spent way too long putting off, and sweating with stage fright he would forever deny. The election was painfully soon, and Sokka felt like the child he’d been in the war, blabbering in front of experienced warriors. Everyone was telling him that crime was higher than ever, that the poor were getting poorer, and that citizens found new cracks in the streets every day--Republic City was unhappy with its current council, and so he was a shoe-in. </p><p>But Sokka couldn’t seem to loosen the ropes around his gut. And all of this drama with Toph, no matter how much he tried to shove it away, made it all so much worse.</p><p>“Honey?” came Rayna’s voice from the other room. The ropes tightened. </p><p>Sokka grit his teeth, but kept his voice even. “Yeah?” </p><p>Footsteps, then a stumble and a <em> ka-thunk. </em> Sokka looked up, alarmed. “What happened?” </p><p>“Shit,” he heard her mutter to herself. “Boxes! We have too much stuff in this house! I can’t seem to throw out enough of it…”</p><p>Rayna came into his office carrying a letter. “I won a trip to the Fire Nation! I guess they entered my name in a lottery over at True Tea or something…” </p><p>“Oh, that’s great. So you--we can visit your mom?” He prayed she wouldn’t notice the slip-up, and his prayer was answered. </p><p>“Um, yeah, well…” Rayna chewed her lip, clearly excited but deliberating. Sokka almost smiled. “It’s kind of, like, <em> now. </em>”</p><p>He frowned. “Now?”</p><p>“Yeah,” she said, hesitating. “In two days. For a month.”</p><p>Sokka blinked. “The election is--”</p><p>“I know,” she said, with a classic-Rayna guilty pout. “But I really want to go.” </p><p>“Honey,” he said, bile rising with the apology in his throat, “I’m sorry, I can’t. Not with the election so soon.” </p><p>“It’s not for another two months, Sokka,” Rayna implored.</p><p>“I can’t, Rayna,” he said. “And I have to get back to work now.” </p><p>He felt the fire in her eyes even as he turned back to his speech. His heartbeat picked up and his body tensed, waiting. </p><p>“Fine,” she huffed. “I’ll just go myself.” </p><p>Sokka imagined telling her to go and do that, to not come back, to leave and stay far, far away. But instead, all he said was, “We can go after I win.” </p><p>Without a word, she left the room. </p><p>The speech in his hand slowly came back into focus as the anger left his vision. Sokka tried to put it back in its box, but it just couldn’t seem to close.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading and for all your kind words on the previous chapters.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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